Return of the Boosh
by WearerOfCapes
Summary: A real life fic. Sorry. Noel wants to restart the Boosh. Julian wants to restart the Boosh. But will they restart the Boosh? They will. Or will they? They will. But will they really? Yes, they will definitely restart the Boosh, okay? T for language later.
1. The beginning

**A/N: I know, a real life fic, they're not right, they're not proper, blah blah blah. Sorry and all that. I had the urge to write it, so I did. This chapter is just an introduction really, cause I wanted to try and show what Noel and Julian are like on their own. Not that I'm entirely sure, but I did some research and... Yeah, scratch that, I guessed. Hopefully you like it! :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Noel or Julian or DAve or Mike or Rich or anyone else I mention or write about. I wish I did own them, but that would be slavery, so I'm not allowed. :(**

Noel was bored. The time seemed to pass so slowly nowadays. Maybe he was getting old. He really didn't want that. Unless he was a cool old person, like Mick Jagger or Keith Richards. He could probably pull that off. Yeah. He brightened up for a second, then remembered his utter lack of anything to do. He had read nearly every book on the shelves. His computer was fucked up again thanks to his leaky ceiling. He hadn't dared go into the attic where he kept his guitars and music since he'd spotted the bat three weeks ago. He supposed he could paint. But actually, he was running out of acrylics, he needed to get more. And he only had one clean canvas left. He sighed and looked up at the faintly dripping ceiling.

"I need to sort this place out." he muttered. He got up as fast as his skin tight jeans would let him, and stretched. It felt like he had been sitting still for hours. He looked at the clock. Oh. He had been sitting still for hours. He shook his head. It never used to be like this. He had his little brother once. Mike, eight years his junior. He'd always tried to keep him safe, which was a bit difficult when he was so small, had such a lisp. Bullies used to target him at school. That always kept Noel busy. But as he got older, it was clear he was also a brilliant actor. And then there was Dave Brown. He'd always been a good mate, a brilliant choreographer, mad as a polecat and several times bigger. He'd been happy when they gave him a proper part as Bollo in the Boosh, but never showed it. That was just the way he was. Noel had had a lot of fun working with him; never a dull moment. Rich Fulcher was a mental case, of course. An American one at that. He was the loudest person Noel had ever met. The things they'd done on the show verged on pornographic, but that was all part of Rich's humour. Even if he couldn't do as he was told. And of course, there'd been Julian. Julian Barratt, his best mate. The Boosh had been theirs, the best thing they'd come up with together. And now it was over. He hadn't seen Julian since the Wuthering Heights incident of 2010. That'd been a laugh. But Noel had gone on to make his solo show, and he was happy with it, he was proud. But it wasn't quite the same without Julian. Mike was in it, Dave was in it, Rich was in it, nearly everyone he knew was in it. But no Julian. And that was what was missing from it, why it was having such mixed reactions. He knew some people loved it, but the critics were slagging it off left right and centre. Yeah, he had Sergio to do the music for him, and he was great, what they were making was fab. But it wasn't quite the same. There was none of Julian's insane guitar playing. And he missed it. He missed the Boosh. But Julian hadn't really shown any sign he wanted to carry on with it. And if Howard Moon was missing, the show wouldn't be half as good. It was a gloomy thought, but Noel tried to shake it off. He decided that he needed to go out and get some art supplies before he ran out completely. So he picked up his wallet from the coffee table, his fur coat from the hook and his keys from the phone table. He unlocked the door and left his home behind, wondering what the day would bring.

* * *

><p>Julian put down his guitar and sighed. He had migraine. He went into the kitchen and checked the cupboard where he kept his medicine. No painkillers. Fuck. He sighed in frustration and shook his head. He walked back to the living room and put away his guitar in the cupboard his mate had lent him in his place, leaving his plectrum on the sideboard by mistake. He had been playing the same things over and over for the past three days. He couldn't write anything new. Every time he came up with a new riff, he would play it over and over, not realising it was evolving into one of the things he kept playing until he started to pay attention. Usually he would let his mind wander as he played, but his mind didn't go to different places anymore. His train of thought normally branched off with the track, but lately it had been stopping at the same station over and over. He couldn't stop remembering the Boosh. It had been a good time for him. The only time he'd ever really been popular. He remembered working with Mike, and Dave, and Rich. And Noel. Noel had always been good to him. A real friend. He'd worked with him a couple of times since the Boosh. The live tour, and the simply genius dance to Wuthering Heights. He'd enjoyed doing that. Noel in that dress and wig… Well. But the Boosh had always been foremost to them. Vince Noir. Noel had chosen the name, he recalled. It suited him. But then, everything seemed to suit Noel. The outrageously weird clothes, the heeled boots, that hat with ears attached. It was odd how fondly he remembered all this. He sat down on the sofa, but immediately spotted his plectrum lying on the sideboard. He stood up again and picked it up. He smiled at the memory it brought back:<p>

_Noel and Julian had just finished performing their last show of the latest tour. They were in Noel's dressing rooms, still in their costumes, the exhilaration of performing beginning to fade. They knew this could be the last time the Boosh saw the light of day. They were quiet, sitting across the room from one another. They barely even shared an occasional glance; each was almost drowning in their own thoughts. Noel had broken the silence first. He said:_

"_Julian? You're gonna stay in touch with me, aren't you?"_

"_Yeah, course I will. We're mates, you know that." Julian had replied._

"_Yeah. Yeah, I know. It's just… this might be the end of the Boosh, right?"_

"_Well… it could be."_

"_So we might not see each other for ages. We might forget."_

"_Forget what?"_

"_All this. All the times we've had. The Boosh."_

"_Who could forget the Boosh? I'll never forget it."_

"_No. Me neither."_

"_So what are you worried about?"_

"_I just… I don't know."_

"_It's alright, Noel. I get it. I'm bricking it over here too." Noel smiled and brought his chair closer to Julian._

"_Listen, I got something for you. It's been mine for ages. It doesn't look like much, but look after it, right? Don't break it."_

"_I won't. What is it?" He reached into a pocket and pulled out a purple plastic triangle. Julian turned it over to find a picture of Jimi Hendrix, the musician on whom they had based the character Rudi. He laughed, and Noel's face fell._

"_Don't you like it?" he said._

"_No, no, that's not it. I love it. I was just thinking about Rudi."_

"_Oh, yeah." Noel grinned. "That was a cool character."_

"_Yes it was. Cause he was played by me." Julian teased._

"_You aren't cool, Julian."_

"_I know. You are."_

"_I know." They laughed together, and the stage director had come in and said:_

"_You ought to get ready to go. There are loads of fans waiting outside. They keep shouting up at the window. Mike and Dave are entertaining them. Last time I looked they were singing Love Games."_

"_Yeah, cool. We'll be ten minutes." Noel replied. The stage director left, and they patted each other on the back, hugged, and Julian had returned to his own dressing room to change._

Julian remembered that night so vividly. It had been happy and sad at the same time, calm but frenzied too. He missed that time, missed his friend, missed the fun they had had doing the Boosh. But he knew he couldn't sit and ponder on it all day. So he got up, took the key to his acquaintance's London flat where he was staying, and left, going for a walk, trying to clear his head.

**Reviews are more crazy awesome than Bob Fossil ;)**

**Do you want to see more? Let me know! x**


	2. The meeting

**A/N: Wow! I've had a pretty good response for my first real life fic, so I thought I'd better get chapter two up pretty damn quick. Therefore, here it is! It was really good fun to write, because I love to imagine how Noel and Julian are together in reality. It's too cute. Anyway, enjoy! :3**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Julian or Noel. A thought which makes my outlook a little gloomy, to be honest. Ah, well.**

Noel was freezing. He hadn't realised how cold it was. Still, it was only early February. He pulled the black fake fur closer to his body, his carrier bag full of assorted paint and three small canvases on his wrist. He could feel it cutting into him with the weight, but it wasn't as bad as the cold. His thin shirt, jeans and boots weren't doing anything to help with that. He really wanted to go straight back home, but he couldn't stand the idea of being alone and bored like that any longer. So he carried on walking until he reached Camden High Street, full of the usual crowd. The Goths were all wrapped up in layers of leather, squeaking their way along. Noel sort of belonged in that crowd sometimes, but he left well alone in winter. It was one thing to stand out, quite another to squeak like a small rodent. He made his way through the crowds until he reached the market. He was just browsing a small stall covered in elaborate jewellery when he saw something familiar in the corner of his eye. He spun around to look at it, but couldn't spot it again. He shook his head and turned around again. The stallholder looked at him like he was mad.

"I… thought I saw… something." Noel explained lamely.

"Right." The familiar thing appeared again, much closer this time, in his full line of vision. He looked at it, looked at the stallholder, and ran towards it, shouting:

"Sorry! Might be back in a minute!" He dashed around people, watching the thing move away, walking towards the edge of the canal. He shouted towards that too.

"Julian!" There was no response. He shouted louder. "Julian!" This time, he looked around, but couldn't seem to see where the voice was coming from. "Julian, I'm here!" His eyes focused on Noel.

"Noel?" He said bemusedly. Noel skidded to a stop.

"Alright, mate?"

"Noel!" Julian hugged Noel so fiercely he was lifted off his feet. They laughed, thrilled beyond belief that they had finally found their friends again.

"God, Julian, it's brilliant to see you again! How long's it been?"

"Ooh, a good two years. Wuthering Heights, wasn't it?"

"Yeah. That was genius."

"It was. How are you doing?"

"Oh, great, thanks."

"New show going well?"

"Yeah, it's not bad. It's had a bit of a mixed reaction, but, you know. It's early days yet, they've only shown two episodes."

"Well, I really liked it."

"Have you been watching it?"

"Yeah, it's amazing. I love all the animated bits."

"Yeah, I got Nigel Coan back on the job for that. He loved it."

"He's the one who worked on the Boosh, isn't he?"

"Yeah." Noel shivered. He'd been alright when he was walking around, but standing still wasn't helping him at all. "Listen, do you want to come back to mine? I'm freezing my arse off out here."

"Yeah, why not?"

"Cool. I'll make you a coffee."

"Nice, thanks."

"It's not a problem. I ain't seen you for ages, it's the least I can do." They made their way back through the crowds together, towards Noel's house. When they arrived, the first thing they did was collapse on the sofa and get warmed up for a few minutes.

"Jesus, it's freezing out there." Julian grumbled.

"I know. It's meant to snow on Saturday." Noel frowned at the prospect.

"I hope not. I hate snow."

"I quite like it, but I don't want it to be so cold, you know?"

"Yeah."

"Snow'd be the best thing on Earth if it was warm and dry."

"It would. I hate it when you walk in it and you get wet feet."

"Mm. It's horrible." They lapsed into silence for a second, before Noel said:

"Right. Coffee?"

"Please."

"Umm… Black, no sugar, right?"

"Yep. You haven't forgotten then."

"No. Come on. Two years ain't that long."

"True." Noel left the room and walked into the kitchen, leaving Julian to his thoughts. He looked around the room he remembered so well, had been in so many times before. The bright orange sofa, the white furry rug, the paintings on the wall of a man, a wolf, a sinister looking monster, and the mural of the Tiger Spider. He'd always loved Noel's paintings, his artistic style. He had skill, there was no denying that. Even if it wasn't the kind of skill the people in the art world really wanted. But as far as Noel had been concerned, they could get stuffed. He'd become a brilliant artist, and got his own book about it, which Julian had read with interest. He remembered the tale of the Tiger Spider, a fairly melancholy tale with a happy ending, written in a childlike but intelligent way. Noel was fairly childlike, a little immature at times, slightly moody, like a teenager. He remembered that he had been unable to spell 'happiness' and 'tutelage'. That had made Julian smile. Noel was so much like Vince Noir, the same as he was like Howard Moon. That was who they were, how they worked. There was barely any exaggeration in the Boosh at all. Just then, Noel walked back in with two cups of coffee: one pale and sweetened, one dark and bitter. He set down the bitter one in front of Julian and sat down. Julian's mind began to race as Noel sat down, and he said:

"Noel? How would you feel about restarting the Boosh?"

***Gasp!* I bet you weren't expecting that! Oh, wait. Yeah, you were. Sorry for the rubbish ending there. Even so, reviews are more beautiful than Noel's silver boots. And also, should I keep Noel and Julian as friends, or take it in a more slashy direction? I kinda like the slashy idea, but what do you guys think? I know some people find it weird... Please tell me! Much love x**


	3. The Idea

**A/N: Here we go again! Sorry about the weird layout issue with the first bit; I wrote it on my iPod then emailed it to myself, and I can't change it. Also, I'm not sure whether to go in a slashy direction or not yet, so things are a bit weird. Anyway, be prepared to meet some more characters, and... Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Yes, I own Noel, Julian, Mike, Dave and Rich. I'm just that awesome. Not.**

Noel raised his eyebrows at Julian over the top of his mug.  
>"Really? You serious?"<br>"Yeah, I am. I think we should bring the Boosh back to life. The fans want it, and let's be honest, so do we." Noel nodded slowly.  
>"Do you think we'll be able to get everyone back?"<br>"Hmm. Maybe. I reckon I can get Rich to come back; I went to visit him the other day. He'd be up for it."  
>"This <em>is<em> Rich. He's up for anything." Noel paused. "Mike'll come back, without a doubt. And I bet Dave would too."  
>"I wonder about all our crew, though. What about Paul King? He was the best director we had."<br>"He was a bit of a genius. And our make-up people? I don't think anyone else would want to paint me green or set fire to a hat and let me wear it."  
>"True. And all our extras too. They were great."<br>"Yeah... I know two extras you won't be getting back."  
>"Who's that?"<br>"Umm... Robots in Disguise."  
>"What? I thought you and Dee were... Together."<br>"Yeah, we were. We're on a bit of a break. We're giving it a month."  
>"A month? That's a long time, isn't it?"<br>"Yeah. Wasn't my idea." Noel suddenly looked so gloomy that Julian gave him a short hug, trying to cheer him a bit. Noel leaned his head on Julian's shoulder for a moment, before saying:  
>"Don't worry about me, Julian. I'll live."<br>"Good. I don't want to rescue you off any ledges any time soon."  
>"Hey, but we could stick it in the Boosh." Noel smiled.<br>"Yeah, that's a good idea. We should start writing these down."

"We should. But Mike's coming over later; we should wait till he gets here. I'll call Dave too, see if he's free."

"Great. Do you think we'd better ask the BBC before we start writing, or after we've done?"

"Let's face it, we don't write a lot of it anyway. It's mostly improv, ain't it? And if we already have a series planned out, they might be more willing to listen."

"Fair point. You're full of ideas today, aren't you?"

"I try, Julian, I try."

"So do I, but it doesn't get me far."

"You gotta have the initiative. It all comes together then, doesn't it?"

"You sound like the Cockney lion from your show."

"What, Dondylion?"

"Yeah."

"Well, fair enough, that is me."

"True."

"We've drifted off subject, haven't we?"

"Yeah. We're good at that."

"Look, back to the Boosh. I reckon we can get it back together. You know, we might end up on a tight budget, but it'll work. We'll make it work. We always have done before." Julian nodded in agreement, and they fell back into the companionable silence anyone who was friends with Julian got used to. He was a quiet bloke, Noel knew that. He had been ever since they first met. Ever since the Boosh began. Even when they had lived with Lee Mack, who wasn't exactly quiet, he'd kept mostly to himself. He had started to be a bit more sociable once he'd known Noel a lot longer. But it was still odd to see him doing stand-up, when he suddenly became a fast talking, loud man from Leeds. It had shaken Noel a bit, but now he had gotten used to Julian's various personalities. He put on fronts, depending on who he was talking to. Off stage, off camera, he was calm and quiet. On camera he was moderately calm but more talkative. On stage, he became loud, and sometimes a bit hyperactive from the nerves. That was alright though, and it helped him riff off Noel's odd style of comedy. It worked well, this clash in personalities. That was what the Boosh was all about, wasn't it? Being different from all the rest. That was why they did it. To stand out. That was it, really.

Mike and Dave knocked at the door at six pm. It was pretty much dark, and they stood shivering on the step as Noel opened the door.

"Let us in, it's fuckin' freezing out here." Mike complained.

"Alright, keep your hair on." Noel stepped back to let them traipse inside the warm house.

"It's starting to snow out there." Dave muttered.

"Oh, bloody hell." Noel grumbled.

"Look, you never told us what you were so excited about. Why were you that keen for us to come over?"

"I thought I did tell you?"

"No, you just said: 'get Dave and get your arse over to my place.'"

"Oh. Well, come through to the living room. You'll get it soon enough." He led them through to where Julian sat on the orange sofa, tapping his fingers on the fourth cup of coffee he had drunk that day. Mike's eyes widened to the size of saucers, and Dave stopped dead in the doorway. But they quickly regained their senses.

"Alright, Julian?" Mike said with a grin. "I was wondering when I'd see you again."

"Hey Mike." Julian smiled back. "And Dave, nice to see you again."

"Yeah, you too. Can I sit down?"

"Yeah, you might want to." They sat down, Noel included.

"So," Noel said, "Julian had this well brilliant idea. Tell 'em it, Ju."

"Okay. I thought: why don't we restart the Boosh?" There was stunned silence for a few seconds, during which no one moved. But they were all thinking different things:

_Noel: I really, really hope they like this idea. I so want to restart the Boosh, I loved it._

_Dave: Jesus, they're mad. Still, mad geniuses, because the Boosh was a hit. Maybe we could…_

_Mike: Bloody hell. They're pretty plucky. I tell you what though, if everyone's willing, it'd be great…_

_Julian: Oh shit. That's gone badly._

But Mike said:

"Yeah, I'll do it. You're on." Dave nodded.

"Playing Bollo was great. Apart from the suit."

"We'll get you a more ventilated one. Does this mean you're up for it?" Julian asked.

"Yeah. Go for it."

"Great. Just Rich now."

"He'll do it, without a shadow of a doubt." Dave stated.

"We are gonna do this, aren't we? It's gonna be wonderful." Noel grinned. "Group hug?"

"Yeah." They all hugged. Even Julian joined in, in his slightly-high-on-caffeine state. The way that their friendship was portrayed on the documentaries that they did was that Julian was the odd one out. That the others didn't really like him much, that it was a bit too much like the Boosh. But that wasn't true at all. Julian _was_ the odd one out in a way; he was quieter, he was more mature. Yet they all loved him just as much as they loved the others. There was no rivalry involved, apart from the average sibling rivalry between Noel and Mike. They fitted together, like a very simple jigsaw, to make the Boosh. Now there was just one piece missing: a boisterous, loud, American piece. Rich Fulcher, Noel thought, we're coming to get you.

**Wahey! Only one more to go now! Don't worry, I'll be quick as I can writing it up. And reviews are still sweeter than Mike's lisp ;)**


	4. The Call

**A/N: Ye gods, I've been typing all day and now I think my fingers are on fire! I can't believe it. At this time yesterday I hadn't started this chapter. But I had an idea and I wanted to get it out there, so here's chapter four. I warn you now, there is a little angst in this chapter. Oh, and in case you're interested, I was listening to an incredible song as I was writing called Turning Page by Sleeping at Last. It's from the soundtrack to the new twilight film. The thing is, I don't like twilight, but the music is epic. Ah well. Enjoy it, anyway.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not one thing in this whole scenario. I mean, even the clock on my desk, I nicked that. Oh... I wasn't meant to mention that. Oops. ;)**

They waved Mike and Dave off at about ten pm. After he had closed the door, Noel turned to Julian with a grin and said:

"Things are lookin' good then."

"Yeah, pretty good. I don't think we'll have too much persuading to do really. People are keen enough."

"Yeah." Noel sat back down on the sofa next to Julian and sighed. "You know what?" he said.

"What?"

"Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me."

"You're kidding, right?"

"No, seriously. Cause without you, and the Boosh and everything, I'd still be a weird, overly feminine, totally unknown Cockney comedian."

"Well, it wasn't really my choice, was it? You stalked me."

"That's true. But you could have just told me to fuck off after a few shows. You didn't. You spoke to me, and you became my mate."

"Good point. I think we're both to blame."

"Blame? You say it like it's a bad thing."

"No! No, of course it's not a bad thing, I was just-"

"I'm kidding, Ju."

"Oh. Good."

"Anyway, you know what I mean, right?"

"Yeah. You're my best mate as well."

"I know." There was a long pause, during which Noel slid sideways on the sofa to lean on Julian's shoulder again. They stayed that way for a while, before Julian said sadly:

"Listen, it's been amazing to see you again, and we really do need to stay in touch, but I gotta get back."

"Where are you staying?"

"An acquaintance's place. I don't much like him, but he's on holiday, so I'm house sitting, even though he's got a maid who comes in every bloody day to clean."

"Well, stuff him! Stay with me."

"I really ought to-"

"Oh, come on, Ju! Please?" Julian looked down into Noel's cobalt blue eyes, and relented.

"Alright. Just let me go back and get my stuff, right? Not least my guitar. I'm not leaving that unattended overnight."

"You brought your guitar? Cool. We could try to write some songs."

"Maybe. Anyway, I'll be back soon."

"How long is soon?"

"Oh, I don't know. Half an hour?"

"Alright. See you in a bit."

"Yeah, see you." Julian got up, gave Noel one last smile, and walked out into the night. It was still freezing, but now it was utterly beautiful. The snow was being blown into dusty swirls by the cutting wind, and the orange glow of the streetlights illuminated the whole scene. It seemed fitting to have such a gorgeous scene to end a fantastic day. Julian smiled and strolled through the wispy eddies of white powder, towards where his guitar was stashed.

Meanwhile, Noel had picked up the phone and was dialling Rich Fulcher's number. It rang a few times, then went straight to answerphone.

"Oh, for god's sake." Noel muttered. Then, as the messaging service began, he brightened his tone and said:

"Hey, Rich, It's Noel. How are you, mate? Listen, Julian had a _really_ brilliant idea. We want to start a new series of the Boosh, and we'd love you to come back as Bob Fossil. It'd be amazing. So, you know, when you get this, give us a ring, tell us what you think, whether you're willing. Please, please, be willing. Come on, Bobby, we couldn't do it without you! Anyway, I gotta go, but you know where to ring, and if you could come visit sometime that'd be even better. So, yeah. See you soon, mate." He put the phone down slowly. He hoped that he'd said everything he'd needed to. Julian would have known. Julian would have told him. He always did. He'd only been gone for a few minutes, yet already Noel missed him. That worried him a bit. Missing Julian was certainly something he was used to. But that made sense. He'd barely seen him for two years. Now, it had been ten minutes, and his feelings were about the same. He sighed, shook his head, and tried to ignore it. He was bored now too. He turned on the TV and flipped through a few channels. Nothing interesting on. He turned it off again. In the end, he gave up, and went upstairs to get his iPod. Lately he had been getting into weird stuff, stuff he'd never normally listen to. His current favourite was a band called Panic! at the Disco. They had a song called The Ballad of Mona Lisa which he had fallen in love with on the first listen. He turned on that song now, put the rest on shuffle, and closed his eyes. The notes and rhythms filled his head, and he smiled slightly. At least not all modern music was a load of crap, he thought.

Julian walked back in precisely thirty one minutes and fifteen seconds later, laden down with two bags and his guitar case. Noel jumped up the moment he heard him come in the door, and helped him take them upstairs to the spare room.

"Sorry about the state of the ceiling." He apologised, gesturing at the damp patch. "I've got a leak. There's one in the living room as well."

"Oh. Why don't you get it fixed?"

"It's a simple case of whether I can be bothered. Which I can't." He put Julian's bags down, then went to get some clean sheets out of the airing cupboard for him. They put them on the bed together, wondered why they looked wonky, then realised they'd put the duvet cover on sideways. After correcting their mistake, Julian turned to Noel and said:

"Thanks for letting me stay."

"S'alright. You'd do the same for me? Wouldn't you?"

"Well…"

"Julian…" Noel warned.

"Of course I would. Don't look so offended."

"Yeah, right, sorry. I dunno what happened then. It was like… weird."

"It _was_ weird."

"I should know better really. I mean, you helped me get over the drugs, didn't you. I'm pretty sure that you would let me stay the night at your place."

"Yeah. I would. You alright?" Julian knew that the whole scenario of the drugs was a sensitive subject for Noel. It was hard for him to talk about it even to his best friends. They'd all seen it happen to him. The addiction that took him over. The pain it caused him knowing that he couldn't let go. They'd helped him through, all his friends, all his family. And he was over it now, he'd assured everyone of that. But the sadness it still caused him was plain in his eyes, which were brimming with tears. He was trying to be brave, to stand tall, to pretend it wasn't happening. Julian recognised it, and merely hugged the smaller man close to him. He didn't need an answer to the question, because it was clear that Noel was _not_ alright.

"Hey, hey, Noel." He whispered. "Don't worry. I know you've got bad memories, okay, but don't let them in. Don't let them take over, or it'll happen again. I'm always here, right? We all are. You've had a long day, and now you're just a bit mixed up, right? You're gonna be okay though. I promise. It isn't going to hurt anymore." He felt Noel breathe shakily, and nod. "Alright." He let go and looked him in the eye. "Go to bed, mate. You'll feel better in the morning."

"Yeah." Noel wiped his eyes and sniffed. "I'm sorry I'm such a baby."

"There's nothing wrong with crying sometimes. If that's how you need to release your emotions, that's what you need to do. Don't apologise."

"Okay. Thank you, Ju. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You're welcome. I'll be honest, I don't know what I'd do without you. Go on. Bed. You need it."

"Yeah. G'night."

"Night, Noel. Don't dwell on it, right?" Noel shook his head and walked out of the room, leaving Julian alone with his thoughts. He didn't like the way Noel had just broken down like that. It wasn't right. He was a sunny, bright, happy bloke. That… that was unusual to say the least. But what could he do? He couldn't influence his feelings. All he could do was try to comfort him. He'd done his best. And hopefully, he'd be better in the morning. Hope. The driving force behind all their work. Everything else had worked. He wished he could make sure that this would work too.

**Reviews are more exhilarating than a parachute jump :)**

**By the way, I don't know why I thought Noel would like Panic! at the Disco. It just popped into my head, and The Ballad of Mona Lisa is my favourite song by them.**


	5. The Visitor

**A/N: Chaper five is here! So, basically, slash is beginning to show but I'm not sure if I'm going to take it anywhere or not. It just depends. There is no plan for this, it's all utterly spontaneous, I am just making it up as I go along. So here you have it: the results of a totally random mind full of weirdness.**

**Disclaimer: Nope.**

The next morning, as Julian walked down the stairs, he could hear Noel clattering about in the kitchen. He poked his head around the door and noticed he was making breakfast.

"Morning." He said. Noel jumped, but turned around with a grin and said:

"Morning. You alright?"

"Yeah, great. Yourself?"

"Not so bad. D'you want some waffles?"

"Is that what you're making?"

"Yeah. I ain't got any cereals and I'm nearly out of bread, so I thought since you were here we could have something cool."

"Okay, then, yeah."

"Great." Noel turned back to the counter where the waffle maker was heating up, and poured the mixture in. He closed it carefully as it sizzled, then went back to sit at the table. Julian joined him.

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked gently. "I mean, last night…"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Seriously, I dunno what happened, I'm fine."

"Okay. Well… just checking, you know?"

"Yeah, I know, I understand. Listen; don't worry about me, Ju. I'm not going back. I'm not gonna destroy myself like that again." Julian half-smiled and replied softly:

"I never stop worrying about you, Noel." Noel smiled back.

"I know." He whispered. Their hands touched across the table. They looked shocked, but began to smile more and more. Slowly, they got closer together, until they could feel each other's warmth…

And then the alarm went on the waffle maker. Noel jumped up to retrieve the waffles, keeping his face turned away to hide how flushed it was. Things had nearly gone further than he'd expected then. He was a bit confused as to how it had happened. Although that wasn't to say he hadn't wanted it to…. Whoa. That was a rogue thought right there. He shook his head as he removed the waffles from the maker, cutting them apart where they had become attached. He heard Julian clear his throat behind him. Oh god, he thought, please don't say anything about that… But he stayed silent, so Noel could breathe a sigh of relief. He didn't have a clue what was going on now. Since Julian had come back onto the scene, his emotions were all over the place. But it was still nice to have him back. Just as a friend, he assured himself. That was all.

"What d'you want on your waffles, mate?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Um… have you got any golden syrup?"

"Course." He took the squeezy bottle out of the cupboard and handed it to Julian with his plateful of waffles. Julian thanked him, covered the waffles in syrup, and began to eat. Noel sprinkled sugar on his and also began to eat, but he stayed standing up, leaning on the counter.

"You can sit down, Noel. It's your house." Julian said.

"I'm alright here." He paused, then carried on: "Listen, about… what just happened-"

"It's fine, Noel. Everything's just a bit messed up at the minute. It'll pass."

"Yeah. Yeah, I know. Sorry though."

"Mm." They finished eating their breakfast surrounded by an awkward silence. Finally, Julian put his empty plate in the dishwasher and said:

"I'm going to get a shower."

"Yeah, alright." Noel also finished eating as Julian went upstairs, and a few moments later he heard the sound of water from the shower hitting the bathroom floor. He was glad he had already showered, as Julian always took ages. Often he used up all the hot water. He couldn't help smiling as he remembered that useless little fact. Weirdly, it was another thing he missed about him. And actually, he was right. That… incident shouldn't affect them at all. Anyway, it wasn't like they hadn't done it before. He'd nearly given Julian laryngitis last time, and he hadn't cared. Admittedly, it was normally less spontaneous, but that didn't matter. They were friends, nothing and no one could change that, ever. He went back through to the living room and sat down with a book he had just started reading. It was the latest of the Discworld series of Terry Pratchett, and he was enjoying it so far. But after three pages, there was a knock at the door. He groaned, and got up to answer it. As he opened the door, he was greeted with a pleasant surprise.

"Noel! How you doing, man?" Rich Fulcher stood on the doorstep, a familiar smile on his face.

"Hey, alright?" Noel hugged his friend and said: "Come in."

"Thanks. I only just got your message, I was busy last night. You know, doing the dirty." He waggled his eyebrows at Noel, who pulled a face.

"Urgh, too much info, mate."

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Anyway, you really wanna restart the Boosh?"

"Yeah, it'll be genius."

"I thought Julian was here?"

"He is, he's in the shower."

"Oh, right."

"Well, anyway, what d'you think? Should we do it?"

"Hell, yeah!" Rich shouted, almost deafening him. "And I can come back as Bobby-Bob-Bob!"

"Yeah, sure." Noel laughed at his demeanour. "D'you want some tea while you're waiting for Julian? Coffee?"

"Do you have latte?"

"Um… I think I got some o' that instant stuff out of a packet?"

"It'll do." Rich sat down on the sofa as Noel returned to the kitchen to make the coffee. Rich had to be the only person in the world whose character was slightly less mental than he was. There wasn't much exaggeration in the Boosh; Paul King had been right when he said it was only about ten per cent. But Rich was the exception to the rule. Rich was the exception to all the rules. And he worked well with Noel. He wouldn't call it chemistry; it wasn't that strong. Just a shared mentality, perhaps, of how cool the world would be if it worked a different way. Noel's mind was so occupied with this that he managed to slop coffee all over the kitchen floor. He cleaned it up and was just taking Rich his coffee when the phone rang.

"Oh, for god's sake." He grumbled. He placed the coffee carefully on the table and picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Alright, Noel?" It was Mike.

"Yeah. What do you want?"

"Touchy, aren't you? What's up?"

"Nothing, I'm just trying to talk to Rich."

"Oh, is Rich there? Tell him hi."

"Yeah, I will. Now, why did you ring?"

"I just wanted to know if we're meeting up to talk Boosh."

"Um, yeah, probably. You and Dave free tomorrow?"

"I should think so. Whereabouts?" Noel hesitated for a minute, until he was struck with an idea.

"Maison Berteaux, Greek Street. One o clock."

"Maison Berteaux? Ain't that where you did your first art show?"

"Yeah, it is. Tell Dave, will you?"

"Yeah, I will."

"And ask him if he can get hold of Nige as well."

"Nige?"

"Yeah, Nigel Coan, you know? The one who did the Boosh and my show?"

"Oh, yeah. Right. Is that all?"

"One more thing."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Tell 'em this show's on the road."

**Reviews are amazing! Seriously, I wake up in the morning, check my emails on my Ipod, and then if I get a review, I get a bit hyper. It's incredible!**


	6. The Snow

**A/N: Chapter six is finally upon us! Took me a while to write, because I have been stuck doing art homework (Blergh) and a vague hint of writer's block. Also, Unfortunatly, this will be my last upload until the end of the month because I have used up all the broadband capacity and it is now costing an innumerable amount of money to be on the internet. I am sorry :(**

**Disclaimer: These are real people, of course I don't own them! Honestly, are you from the past? (Little IT crowd quote there ;)**

"Look, I'm gonna have to get back." Rich got up from the sofa. "But it's a great idea. I like it."

"Well, we're all meetin' up tomorrow if you want to come along." Noel offered.

"Yeah? Time and place?"

"Maison Berteaux, one o clock."

"Alright, great. I'll see you both then."

"Sure." He showed Rich out and cleared the mugs off the coffee table. Julian made to help, but Noel shook his head. Julian picked up a mug anyway, causing Noel to try to take it off him. He wouldn't let go of it, and the resulting tug of war lasted several minutes. Eventually Noel managed to take it, and burst into fits of giggles. Julian laughed with him, and shook his head. He sat back down on the sofa as Noel took the mugs into the kitchen and placed them in the dishwasher. Rich had been there four hours. They'd all made lunch together, and it had been like it used to be, when they all used to live together, with the obvious exception of Mike and Dave. It had been fun; they'd explained their ideas, and Rich had come up with a few of his own, although some of those were unprintable, let alone filmable. And now that Rich was gone, they were exhausted. It was a lot to deal with; he was a bit like an excitable puppy when he got going. So Noel flopped back onto the sofa a few minutes later, yawning.

"Tired?" Julian asked.

"Emotionally exhausted, more like." Noel replied. "It's alright. We're doing what needs to be done, ain't we?"

"I guess we are. Yeah."

"I bet the fans'll love it." Noel grinned at the thought. "They've been after a fourth series for ages, ain't they?"

"Yeah, I know. But that's kind of our fault, since the film idea fell through."

"Well, I think a series is better." Noel slid down the sofa until he was slouching, stretching his gangly legs out into the room.

"What are you doing?" Julian asked.

"Not sure. Just… can't be arsed to sit properly."

"Right. You worry me, Noel."

"Pfff. You think _I_ worry _you_? Try listening to my internal monologue."

"What? Why do you worry about me?" Julian laughed. Noel sighed.

"Never mind. It doesn't matter."

* * *

><p>They left the house at exactly twelve the next day. They wanted to be first there, and it was a fair way to walk. The snow still covered the streets like a totally useless, cold soggy blanket. It was chilly, but Noel had refused to wear a coat; instead he wore his black and red cape.<p>

"I haven't seen that for a while." Julian commented.

"No, it's been a while since I wore it."

"Still suits you."

"Thanks." Noel smiled. But he was still quite cold, however much he tried not to show it. Julian strolled along without a care in the world, in a thick coat and gloves. Noel just wrapped his cape around his bare arms and hoped for the best. His style never really bore out well in the cold. Skinny jeans were alright as long as your legs weren't so cold you couldn't get them off at the end of the day. Silk ruffled shirts were way too thin. Capes had no sleeves, and the same problem arose with ponchos. Leather was fine, but like the Goths, it squeaked. And gold cowboy boots were wonderful- if, that is, you wore the pair that actually had some tread to stop you slipping on the ice. But snow was always fun. It made him laugh to hear adults complain that kids never played outside in the summer. He didn't blame them; the sun was not his best friend. He got sunburnt easily. But in winter, all the kids just went sledging and stuff. Brilliant. Noel was absorbed by his thoughts in this way for a few minutes, until something cold hit the back of his head.

"The fuck was that?" he shouted. He realised someone had thrown a snowball at him, and shook it out of his hair. He turned and saw his little brother walking up to the spot where he and Julian had stopped, a grin on his face.

"Mike, you sod, I'm gonna kill you." Mike took off running past them, and Noel took chase, cape flying. Julian ran after them too, trying in vain to stifle his laughter. But they didn't get very far before Noel's unreliable boots sent him skidding over. He landed on his hands, but though momentum managed to smack his face into a heap of snow. Mike turned just in time to see this spectacle, but his sniggering was soon halted by the lamppost he didn't see. By this time, Julian was doubled over. Noel had almost righted himself, and was currently sitting on the ground with a look of irritated amusement. When Julian had calmed down, he offered a hand, which Noel took and hauled himself up. Mike was standing in front of the lamppost rubbing the red mark on his face and shaking his head.

"That served you right." Noel said smugly. "Come on, let's get going." They set off again towards the small patisserie, Noel wrapping his cape around him again. However, now that it had been in contact with the snow, this was a lot less effective than it had been last time. He let the soggy article drape sadly over his shoulders, shivering. Julian rolled his eyes, took off his coat and handed it to him, not saying a word. Noel raised an eyebrow, but Julian just nodded vehemently. A half smile was returned in thanks. As this conversation was going on, Mike was sloping on in front, kicking snow up from the pavements. In some places, where the thoroughfare was more vigorous, the soft white layer had turned into grey, dirty slush. He managed at one point to tread in a large puddle that had formed a thin layer of ice over the top, getting soaked up to his ankle. Cursing, he tried to wring out the bottom of his jeans, but there was nothing he could do about his extremely absorbent Converse, which had let all the water into his sock. Therefore, by the time they reached Maison Berteaux, they were all cold, wet, and vaguely miserable. Even after their diversions and detours, they were the first there, and ordered three coffees. It was ten to one, and they sat around a table for four, waiting.

"Hey, Noel," Mike asked, "Have you got any ideas for Naboo yet?"

"I don't know. Not particularly. Ju, have you got any?"

"Well, we could make him crash his magic carpet into a lamppost." Julian teased. Mike rolled his eyes and said:

"I'd quite like to do a bit more magic carpet work, actually."

"Yeah? Well, we'll see what we can do."

"When d'you think they'll get here?" Noel asked.

"Well, Rich'll probably be on time, but the others'll be late. They always are." Mike responded.

"Oh, great. I really _really_ want to talk to them, now!"

"Noel, you sound like an impatient child. Calm down." Julian urged.

"Calm down? I've had a lot of sugar, remember?" Oh yes, Julian remembered, alright. The bag of jelly babies had been an extraordinarily bad idea.

"Well, could you at least sit still and stop jiggling about? It looks like you're desperate for a piss."

"Oh. Sorry." He sat still, staring at the clock on the wall, waiting for one o clock to roll around.

**Reviews are utterly amazing, although I won't be able to reply to them yet :(**

**Much love x**


	7. The Friendships

**A/N: Hello, it's me again! I'm momentarily ignoring my ban on the internet and just quickly uploading this. I had an idea, and I had to write it, and then I had to upload it too, and... You get the idea. I have a couple of other things that need updating, but this will be the only thing for now. Sorry :(**

**Disclaimer: Je ne possède pas le Mighty Boosh. Little bit of French for you there. Do not own, basically.**

True to Mike's word, Rich arrived perfectly on time. Nige and Dave were ten minutes late. Once they were all in and many greetings had been exchanged, they squeezed around the table, stealing chairs to supplement their needs.

"So," Noel said, eyes glinting, "You all know about Julian's idea now, right?" The others nodded. "Great. What we need to do is come up with some storylines. We don't need to bother too much about actual dialogue, we can improvise again. It's better that way."

"Yeah." Dave said. "But it's not just that, is it? Remember what I said about needing a better Bollo suit."

"Yeah, we got that one. That's just, like, production though. We do that afterwards."

"Right." Nige, who had been frowning confusedly, said:

"Sorry, what?"

"Don't worry, Nige. Past conversations, not important." Julian reassured. Nige nodded and began listening to the debate going on between Noel and Rich.

"Well, why shouldn't it be blond again? I liked it blond."

"Yeah, but it's gonna be a big change back again. What about the fans?"

"I've had black hair for ages though. Why can't I dye it back?"

"We've gotten used to you having black hair, Noel. I like it better that way."

"Look, we'll sort it out later, 'kay?" They came back into the group, listening to Mike.

"Julian said something earlier jokingly," he lisped, "But I think it's a good idea. We could have Naboo and Bollo crash their magic carpet and get lost, and Vince and Howard have to fetch them."

"Pretty good." Dave said. "How do they find them though?"

"Um…" Mike considered for a moment. "Naboo's a pretty technological shaman; maybe he rings them and tells them to use his crystal ball."

"Great." Nige smiled. "Probably calling them ball bags for good measure." The others laughed.

"Yeah, that's great." Noel said, scribbling the idea down on a napkin. "Anythin' else?"

"Well…" Rich began.

"Hold on, mate. Is this going to be useable?"

"Um… No."

"You got anything that is?"

"Um… No."

"Okay. Julian?"

"I dunno; we could bring Old Gregg back again." He smiled at the memory of Noel parading around in a tutu.

"That'd be genius." Noel grinned and scribbled it down. "I loved that part."

"How would that happen though?" Nige asked.

"Maybe he's still hiding away somewhere after he was on the roof of the van. And then he just jumps out at Howard one day." Dave grinned at the thought.

"Brilliant. We're on a roll!" Noel exclaimed.

"That we are." Julian nodded sagely. "That we are."

The conversations, debates and ideas went on a long time. In fact, at four pm, the owner had to turf them all out because he wanted to close up. They all said their goodbyes and went their separate ways. Mike, Dave and Nige went one way; Rich went another; and Noel and Julian headed back to Noel's place. It was dull outside, and Noel was having trouble reading through all the notes he had taken, using up three napkins. Not that they were particularly easy to read anyway; he had pulled holes in the delicate paper with his pen, and the faster he had written, the more scrawled his handwriting had become. As he strolled along, still wrapped in Julian's warm coat, he smiled. It had been a successful day. He told Julian this, and he replied:

"Yeah, I know. We're doing well. I think we've got a good chance."

"Yeah, I hope so." They walked side by side, each man absorbed in their own little fantasies of what would happen in the Boosh this time around. When they arrived at Noel's door, he let them in, and they went and sat in the living room. Noel immediately stood up again, after discovering that sitting on a soggy cape was unpleasant. He took it off and deposited it in the tumble-drier. When he came back, he sat down next to Julian, right up close, still feeling cold. Julian saw him shiver and said:

"Are you still cold?" Noel nodded. "Well, why don't you put a jumper on?" Noel laughed.

"A jumper? Pretty sure I don't own a jumper."

"Liar. You've got one with pandas on it, I've seen it."

"Oh yeah. But I think that one's in the wash."

"Oh, bloody hell." He gave Noel his coat again, throwing it over his shoulders and trying not to grin.

"Thanks, Ju." He shuffled a little closer to his best friend, leaning on him and feeling warm in a different way. It was inside; his heart was full of it. He knew it well from his time with Dee. But it wasn't something he'd experienced with Julian before. Well, that's what he told himself. He knew that, in actual fact, it had been a bit like this when they first met, but that was because he'd been young, and naïve, and innocent. Sort of innocent, anyway. To have the same feelings now was a little odd. But maybe it was the same as it had been the first day, when he'd missed him so much after only a few minutes. He looked up at Julian and smiled gently. Julian turned to look back at him, eyes steady and enigmatic. Then something happened that neither of them quite understood. It wasn't like in films, with a slow build-up of tension. It just happened. Quickly, spontaneously, they kissed. Noel paused, a confused frown on his face.

"Did that just happen, or am I hallucinating?" Julian looked just as surprised.

"No, I think it happened." He shrugged. "Never mind. We're best mates. Mistakes happen."

"Mistakes? I wouldn't call that a mistake, myself."

"No? Oh." He was silent for a while. "Glad I'm not the only one." Noel found himself grinning.

"I knew it. Second time lucky, eh? I knew you were gonna do it one day."

"Hmm. You know too much about me."

"Probably part of the reason it happened."

"Yeah. Still. You know, we can do that if you want. If you don't mind, that is. I didn't know you were…"

"Me neither. But hey, we'll take it as it comes."

"Yeah. Take things slow. See where we end up." Noel nodded.

"Genius." He grinned as Julian wrapped an arm around his shoulders, both of them feeling more elated than they had for a very long time.

**Yay! Finally I bought the slash back. I enjoyed writing it, but what did you lot think? Let me know ;)**


	8. The Feelings

**A/N: Land ho! Well, not land exactly, more like chapter eight, but whatever. It's here, anyway. This kind of goes everywhere, from fluff to angst, so I hope it follows on okay. And I also hope that you enjoy reading it!**

**Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a slave-trader, okay? I don't own these fabulous people.**

Noel got out of bed quietly, doing his best not to disturb Julian, who was still asleep beside him, breathing deeply as he drifted through the realms of dreams. He stretched, picked up some clean clothes, and headed for the bathroom. He had just finished getting dressed when he heard his mobile ring. He'd left it in the bedroom, and by the time he got there, it had woken Julian. He smiled apologetically at him, answered it, and said:

"Hello?" he paused as the caller spoke. "Oh. Hi Dee. How are you? Yeah? Well, good… Yeah, I'm good… Why do you want to meet up? What? Oh. Dee, listen… No, I know. Julian came back… Yeah, and… Look, I'm so sorry, and I loved you, I swear, but we can't get back together…" Noel held the phone away from his ear and sighed at the tirade coming his way. "Look, Dee-Dee, I'm sorry… It just happened, I don't know. But it's staying that way… No, I wasn't lying to you, I'm not… Oh, I don't know. If I am, I didn't know it at the time… No, it isn't the first time, but this time it's serious… Yeah, come over. I'll help you. I'm sorry… Yeah… See you." He hung up, sighed, and sat down on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. Julian sat up and said:

"You okay?"

"No. That was Dee. She's coming over later to collect all the rest of her stuff."

"And? You knew that was going to happen. You knew it wouldn't work."

"I know, it's just… She wanted to get back together, and she kind of worked out what was happening between us, and now she thinks I lied to her for years."

"About what?"

"About being gay, or bi or whatever the hell I am." He ran his hands through his hair in stress, ruining the perfect style. "I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't lie. She knows that."

"Precisely. She knows that. She'll understand when she sees you face to face." Julian touched Noel's arm and smiled. Noel nodded. They leaned in and kissed again, breath mingling, hearts pounding. They didn't part for a long time.

"Better go and get dressed then." Julian said breathlessly.

"Yeah." Noel smiled, cheeky glint back in his eyes. He watched as Julian got up and headed for the bathroom. He'd never paid much attention before to the deeper complexities of his best friend. He seemed simple; quiet, clever, but funny and friendly too. Yet when he looked closer, he could see the subtle things that made him so different, so unique. His strategic mind that showed when they were doing production for the Boosh. His musical side, which was so beautifully intricate that Noel couldn't even begin to comprehend it. The quiet courage he showed when he was trying to overcome a problem, either his own or any of his friends'. The way he would be so quiet sometimes, then come out with a sentence so deep it could shock others around him. And his loving side, which he only showed to those he truly trusted beyond belief. And so much of that was hidden from most people. They were unfortunate, Noel thought, not to know him as he did, as a friend and now more. He was lucky. They both were. That was a fact. And whatever issues they had, they would clear them up. Together.

* * *

><p>It was two pm when Dee knocked on the door again, carrying a large holdall and an empty plastic box. Noel let her in, smiling awkwardly, trying not to seem unfriendly. He didn't have any unpleasant feeling s towards Dee; he was just disappointed to realise that she didn't believe in him anymore.<p>

"Hey, Dee. You okay?"

"As okay as can be expected, I guess. You?"

"Not so bad. Do you know where you've left everything?"

"Yeah, I think so. I'll do it on my own, thanks, though. I need to be on my own for a bit."

"Yeah, I understand." He went back through to the living room, and she followed him through towards the stairs. When she saw Julian sitting on the sofa, nose buried in a book, she smiled despite herself.

"Hi Julian." She said. "It's been a long time."

"Hi Dee. Yeah, it's been a while." Julian looked puzzled momentarily. "Hang on… you aren't mad with me?"

"No, why would I be?"

"Well, I did nick your boyfriend."

"Look, don't worry about it. We were on a break, and we can't help how we're made, can we? At least you didn't lie to me for years."

"Dee, please," Noel pleaded, "I didn't lie to you. I never knew this was even possible. It's all so weird; I would never do that to you. Surely you don't think I could? What would I have to gain?" Dee didn't answer, just gave him a puzzled look, and carted her bag and box upstairs. They heard her clunking about for around half an hour before she came back down, laden with her heavy possessions. She put them down just inside the doorway, and said to Noel:

"Listen, Noel. You're right. I know you wouldn't lie to me like that. So I'm sorry. Thank you at least for being honest now. I've taken most of our photos, but there's a new one on your bedside table. We only had it taken a couple of months ago. I thought it was cute, so I left you a copy. And I've got one more thing for you." She took a small parcel out of her back pocket and tossed it to him. He caught it and was still staring at her open-mouthed as she picked up her belongings and left the house. As the door closed, he pulled the roughly taped brown paper that Noel recognised as what he had left in the spare room from the parcel. Inside were a ring and a note. He read the note first:

'_Noel. I'm sorry all this was necessary, and I didn't mean to have a go at you on the phone earlier. I wish I didn't have to leave you, but I know you always wanted me to be happy. Now I want the same for you. I guess that you're happy with Julian, and I'm not going to be the one to interrupt that. I'll get over it, and I'll be fine. So all I have to worry about is whether you will be too. I hope so, I truly do. Because, Noel, I love you, and I've cried for you when times were hard, and I don't want you to do the same, I don't want you to need to. So just remember me, and don't let anything get you down. Stay happy, stay sunny, and mostly, stay you. Have a good life, because you only live once. All my heart, Dee_.'

Noel took a deep breath and folded the note into his palm. He inspected the ring next, knowing as he did that it was the ring he had given Dee. They had called it the infinity ring, because it went round in a figure of eight, creating two circles. It had been made for Noel's hands, so it was too big for her, but for a very long time she had carried it everywhere with her, even going so far as to pull a cake to bits after it had fallen into the mixture before she baked it. Noel looked at the ring with a bleak, faraway look in his eyes, knowing he wouldn't see Dee again. It had been the thing she treasured most in the world, and now she had given it back. Julian knew that all this had hit Noel hard, and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. Noel just turned around to bury his face in Julian's jumper, breathing heavily.

"Noel, it's okay. We knew it would happen, and we can get over it."

"But she gave the ring back, Ju. I thought we would stay friends. We can't now. I know she won't come back now."

"I noticed that. And I'm sorry. I ruined it, and I'm sorry. But this is what we are now, and we aren't going to hide from it, right?" Noel sniffed.

"No. But it hurts so much."

"I know, Noel. I know."

**What do you think? I hope I didn't portray Dee as being horrible, because that's not what I was aiming to do at all :/**

**Still, reviews are very much appreciated. Much love x**


	9. The First Step

**A/N: Another chapter of reality. Well, kind of reality. It's like reality that's been put too close to a Dali painting, and some of the surreality has rubbed off. Anyway. This chapter seems to be going nowhere at the moment, but that didn't stop it giving me hell to write. Never mind, I promise better is in store for the next chapter; I have a cunning plan... (Blackadder reference for anyone who's interested)**

**Disclaimer: Oh, yeah, cause a fifteen year old girl from a town no one's heard of is _really_ in charge of the makers of the Boosh. *facepalm***

Midnight approached, bringing with it another layer of frost to lie over the snow, ruining its soft pliability, coating it in a layer of crisp ice. Noel sat at the bottom of his small back garden. Julian's coat was wrapped around his shoulders again, but still he shivered in the chill breeze. He was sitting on the wall that divided his garden from that of his neighbour. Far off in the darkness, a fox squalled, bringing a reply from another. A scream echoed over the streets, silence following in its wake. Noel sighed, his warm breath curling away in a cloud of water vapour. He set his elbows on his knees and peered at the ring in his hands. It was hard to see in the night, but its essence was there, comforting him a little. The coat was helping too. He had left Julian lying in bed, soundly asleep, not troubled like Noel. But he soon heard the back door close. Footsteps crunched over the snow, approaching him, then stopped. Without looking up, he whispered:

"Hey, Ju." He still didn't turn as Julian sat down on the wall next to him.

"Noel." Julian put a hand on his arm, causing Noel to finally avert his eyes from the ring and look into Julian's brown eyes.

"What's wrong, Ju?" Noel asked, somewhat worriedly.

"I came to ask you the same thing. What are you doing out here?"

"I… I don't really know. Just seemed right." He moved closer to Julian on the wall, and was offered a warm hug. He took it, leaning on him, still clutching the ring close. Julian noticed.

"You're holding on to that, then?"

"I don't know yet." Noel turned it around to see the point where the two circles crossed. "I thought about throwing it away. I thought about wearing it again. I was gonna go and throw it in the Thames, but that's probably bad for the water."

"I'm not sure it would affect it too much. But it's your choice."

"Well, what do you think I should do?"

"Why me?"

"Because you know me best, and you _always_ know what to do."

"Okay. Well, personally, I think you should keep it."

"Why?"

"There are a lot of memories attached to it. You and Dee were happy for a really long time. If you keep it, you'll always remember the good times." Noel nodded.

"Yeah. You're right. Julian?"

"Yeah?"

"Love you."

"Love you too." He kissed the top of Noel's head. They got up and went back to the house, Noel slipping the ring into the pocket of Julian's coat. But, a few seconds later, before they went back inside, he had second thoughts. He took the ring out, and held it out. Julian frowned in confusion.

"What are you doing?"

"Take it. I want you to keep it."

"What? Why?"

"Just because. It's called an infinity ring. That's what this is, right? Infinite. And, Julian, I don't want to remember. All I want to do is forget any of this ever happened. If I can ever forget, than maybe I'll be happy again, and we can just get on with the Boosh. So take it for me. Please." Julian hesitated, but nodded mutely and took the ring in his hand. He put it on the fourth finger of his right hand, and opened the door. They stepped inside, out of the winter air, silently remembering things they would rather not.

* * *

><p>Julian woke up the next morning at an unholy hour. He tried to go back to sleep, but Noel had taken most of the duvet, and he was freezing. He hadn't the heart to take it off him, though, so he got up. Stretching, he thought about the night before. He was worried about Noel. He wasn't himself; he wasn't sunny and cheerful, he was just… odd. The happiness had drained out of him. He was trying not to show it, Julian could tell, but his smiles weren't genuine. The last few days had been both amazing and horrible at the same time; they hadn't realised so much emotion could be packed into a week. But it seemed that sometimes emotions did nothing but mess everything up. He knew Noel better than anyone, as he had rightly been told, and he knew that the moping that was going on now wasn't normal. He wanted to protect him from it, but that would involve shielding him from himself. He worried too much, that was the problem. He wasn't quite as easy-going as he looked. For now, Julian didn't know what to do at all, so he left Noel sleeping and went downstairs. He put the kettle on to boil and looked out of the kitchen window onto the snowy garden. The slush was melting away now, leaving soggy residual ice over everything. He could see the icicles hanging from the top of the window outside, dripping a steady beat onto the sill. Winter in the city was always a beautiful sight, although a hazardous one. Driving in London was bad enough without the roads being icy; they didn't grit them all. That was a problem that Noel didn't have, of course, since he didn't drive. Just as Julian was thinking this, he heard a creak on the stairs. Speak of the devil, he thought. Noel poked his head around the door, bleary eyed and pale.<p>

"What are you doing?" He asked. "It's half five."

"I know. Couldn't sleep."

"Oh. Mind if I join you?"

"No. Tea?"

"Yes please." Noel waited as Julian made two cups of string tea and sat down at the table. He joined him, taking the tea from his warm hands. They kissed again, knowing between the two of them that if nothing else could keep them anchored to the world, this would. Julian spotted the ring of deep black around Noel's eyes, and whispered:

"Panda eyes."

"I know. It don't matter."

"No. Still perfect." This prompted a shared smile, and finally happiness drew near. When they got right down to it, this was all they really needed. A cup of tea, affection, love, an early morning or a late night, and a plan. They would bring back the Boosh, of that they were now sure. The Boosh had made them famous at first, it had made everything better. Now it would do it again. And as they sat planning out episodes over their tea, something came back alive, a spark, a fire roaring. Hope. The past was behind them, and they couldn't change it. But they could influence the future now. It was theirs to play with, and this was only the beginning.

**Woo, Hope! Sounds cheesy, but seriously, trust me on this one. Things will happen. Reviews are, as always, wonderful :P**


	10. The Costumes

**A/N: Yessss! Chapter ten has landed! I'm excited about this, ridiculously so. I'm just sitting in my room all alone with a ridiculous grin on my face, rocking out to the Prodigy. Anyway. They're making the Boosh! Well, sort of. They're sorting out costumes. Was still fun to write. BTW, another random song for you: Forever Yours by Alex Day. Just reminded me of Noel and Julian ;3**

**Disclaimer: Look, pal, were you born yesterday? Of course I don't own it, you disillusioned -**

**By the way, this is dedicated to GrowlyNoir for reviewing everything and just being generally amazing :D**

A gust of cool musty air blew out of studio eleven to meet them as they opened the doors wide. Noel and Julian, standing right in front of them, grinned at each other. July now, and the summer morning was warm and bright. But they ventured into the dark, chilly studio that for a while had been second home to them both. They were followed by a crowd of make-up and costume artists, set designers, directors of photography, producers, soundmen, and extras. Bringing up the rear were Nige, Dave, Mike, Rich, and Paul, the director. Paul was saying:

"So, is this everyone? We aren't waiting on anyone?" Mike shrugged noncommittally. But Noel said:

"Just two. Spencer Millman's on his way down from Manchester, he'll be in tomorrow, and I'm still waiting for a reply from Matt Berry about doin' a cameo as Dixon Bainbridge. We can cope without them today." Paul nodded.

"Alright, good. Okay, you lot, you'd better go to the costumes area. We've got a lot of preparation to do for this. And I hope to god you know what you're doing."

"We don't, but when do we? Come on Ju." They wandered off towards the back of the studio, where a set had been created for the first episode. The shop floor of Nabootique looked precisely as it always had done, with a few choice changes, such as a toy eel on one of the shelves, a pair of extremely skinny trousers on the racks, and a tiny replica of Naboo's submarine on the counter. References to series three which made them smile just to look at them. The memories attached were as strong as if it had only been yesterday. As they made their way to the costume area, Noel said:

"So, how many costumes do we have left to do?"

"Not sure. We've sorted out a few; they just need perfecting and trying on. But we need at least six different ones for you and me."

"I think we can sort that out, can't we?"

"Think so." They walked into a large room filled with racks of costumes and clothing. One of the costume designers sat at a table, sewing beads onto one of Naboo's costumes.

"Hello, you two." The others filed in as well, as she continued: "And you lot as well. We've got some planning to do then?"

"Yeah. Are any of them finished yet?" Noel asked.

"Yes, I've got Bollo's, Bob Fossil's, though that one wasn't hard, Naboo's normal one, which we still have from series three, and this is Naboo's special one for episode three." She held up the purple robe she was working on. "We still need to sort out the shamans, but I should think they're the same as ever, and you two."

"Hang on," Dave piped up, "Is that my new suit?" he pointed to a furry ensemble at one end of the racks. The costume designer nodded.

"You said you wanted better ventilated, so we've got thinner fabric, and in some places it's got that stuff athletes wear so they sweat less. Hopefully now you'll feel less like your balls are on fire." Dave grinned and said:

"That's great. Thanks a lot."

"So," the costume designer continued, "Mike, are you the same size as you were in series three?"

"I ain't grown, if that's what you mean. Still a short arse."

"Well, can you still fit into this?" She held up his old blue robe. Mike shrugged, so she told him to go and try it on. He came back after a couple of minutes wearing it, a grin on his face.

"Yeah, it fits." He said. "Is the other one the same size?"

"No, it's meant to be borrowed from Dennis, isn't it? It's meant to drown you." Julian said.

"Oh yeah." He went back to take the robe off, returning with it a few moments later to find Rich wearing a pair of baby blue trousers around his neck like a scarf, dancing about and singing:

"Bobby's back in town, Booby's back in town!" Mike face-palmed, and put the robe back on the rack. When Rich had finished his dance, he, Mike and Dave went away, satisfied. Paul and Nige had hung around for a bit, but gone away now. Noel and Julian were left alone with the costume designer.

"Okay," she said, "The clothes that we've created or bought for you two are on the rack on the right, the ones you've brought in are on the left. You're going to need seven outfits each. We'll sort out the bad guys after lunch, eh?" She winked at them and left the room. Noel immediately went to the rack of clothes that had been made for them, and pulled out a new mirrorball suit.

"Yes!" he exclaimed. "That's going in. Don't care where, but it's going in." Julian nodded.

"Good choice. Looks like I'm back in the old patterned shirts and cords then." He pulled out a pair of brown trousers and a clashing green shirt. "Still," he continued, "Gotta keep up the character."

"Yeah. Although, no offence, Ju, but your fashion sense ain't much better."

"Don't remind me." He carried on searching through the rack until he found something a bit more interesting. It was a plain black roll-neck jumper.

"Why have they put this in my section. It must be yours, surely?" Noel came over and looked at the label.

"Nah, wrong size. Must be yours." Julian looked a bit bemused. "Hey, maybe Howard's startin' to see sense nowadays." He winked and Julian began to smile. They kissed, forgetting entirely about the job in hand. The black jumper fell to the ground, ignored. But then the door squeaked open. They broke off and froze as they saw Paul standing in the doorway, looking as embarrassed as they were.

"That was unexpected." He muttered. Then, louder, he said: "I didn't know you two were…" he waved his hands expansively. "Together." Julian nodded and said:

"Yeah. Probably should have told you that, really." Noel looked at the floor and tried to hide his grin at the thoughts that must have been going through Paul's mind. The emotions were visible on his face: anger at not having been told; Embarrassment at having seen them kissing; Worry at what the others would think; slightly creeped out by the whole idea. Noel was a little worried himself, seeing these emotions pass over his director's face. But then Paul smiled, and said:

"Well, I'm happy for you. I, uh, just came to see if you wanted a hand?"

"Yeah, why not? We need seven outfits each by lunchtime."

"Right then. Let's get down to it." They all breathed a sigh of relief at the fact that the revelation had not gone too badly. Julian was glad there hadn't been any looks of disgust; they were not hard to come by in some parts of London. Noel was glad there'd been no fighting over it; he hated arguing, unless it was just acting. Paul was just glad he hadn't walked in on them doing anything else. And, of course, he was glad to be back on the Boosh, doing what he loved, trying to direct five madmen and their shop.

**I would love a review. Reviews are amazing *hint hint*. Also, I just want to say that I love everyone who's supported this story, cause a lot of my friends think I'm weird XD**


	11. The Preparations

**A/N: It's been so long since I updated this story and I'm so so sorry! I would like to give you an excuse, but it wouldn't be true. All that happened is that I watched the Avengers and started writing for that, and then dicovered a load of cool Youtube vloggers, and TOTALLY NEGLECTED THIS STORY! I'm sorry to keep you waiting so long, but I hope you enjoy it :)**

**Disclaimer: What d'you think? No, I don't own it. I wish you'd stop reminding me.**

Noel sat in a deck chair outside the studio, soaking up the evening sunshine. It was eight pm, and he was making the most of the fact that the scene currently being filmed involved only Naboo and Dennis. The sun was starting to set, but right now it was sitting in a gap between the studio building and the one next door. He had his eyes closed and his mind open, thinking about the scenes they still had to finish. Slowly, however, his thoughts began to drift into dreams as he fell asleep. He was startled back into the present a few minutes later, as Julian walked out, having removed his makeup for the part of Dennis, and said:

"Hey." Noel jumped, but quickly regained his composure.

"Alright?" he replied. "How'd it go?"

"It was alright. Took us a few attempts cause Mike kept messing the words up, but we got there in the end."

"Ah, good." Noel stretched, sat up a little straighter, and said: "So what's next?"

"Nothing, not today at least. We just have to pack up."

"What, now?" Noel closed his eyes again.

"Well... I don't suppose another five minutes would hurt." Noel opened his eyes and squinted against the light to look at Julian. He winked. Julian put up another deck chair next to Noel's, and sat down. He reached out his hand until their fingers touched on the arm of the chair. Again Noel smiled, and held Julian's hand tightly.

"You know what, Ju? This is the best bit of it all. Just... This."

"What do you mean?"

"Just working with everyone again, and being able to relax with you, and just be here. It's the best feeling I've felt." Julian looked on his partner affectionately, wondering what went on in that beautiful mind. Thinking of the colours and the threads of thought that must get tangled up sometimes. Maybe that was where he got all of his weird ideas from. Maybe that was what made him who he was; this strangely wonderful person with a passion for everything. Clearly, Julian knew nothing and no one was perfect, and never could be. But Noel was close enough that it didn't matter. His imperfections were few, and they were easy to accept, overlook, and come to love as a part of him. And even on a night like this, in the evening air with the distant city sounds around them, when they were quiet, the memories were all there. They remembered what it was like when they were younger, when they had no experience in the world. When they experimented, improvised, and pretended that they actually knew what they were doing. They still weren't entirely sure what they were doing, but they were more experienced now, and more confident. They knew how important the Boosh was to people. And they knew how important it was to themselves.

* * *

><p>The next day seemed to come much faster than they had anticipated, and as Noel blearily switched off the seven am alarm, he groaned. His head was full of the disappearing threads of dreams, colours clustered in the nooks at the back of his mind he never went into anymore. They were too strange even for him. He shook his head, woke Julian, and got out of bed. He took first shower, as usual, and dressed in fairly ordinary clothes: Black skinny jeans, a Rolling Stones t-shirt, and his silver boots. He'd be in costume for most of the day anyway, as they were filming episode two. It was going to be an eventful day; there was no doubt about that. He sat on the bed and listened to the sound of water spraying in the shower and Julian's voice, just audible beneath it. Noel smiled. Everyone's voice sounded good in the shower; bathroom acoustics were good like that. But Julian's sounded good anyway, which surprised a few people. It had never surprised Noel. Julian was a man of many talents, and why should singing be any different? He heard the water stop and left the bedroom, in case Julian wanted to change in there. He went downstairs for some breakfast, deciding that toast would be a good idea. He shoved two slices of bread in the toaster and stared vacantly out of the window as it browned. He didn't realise how long he had been there until Julian wandered up behind him. He put his hands on Noel's shoulders and said:<p>

"Your toast's burnt." Noel jumped and exclaimed:

"Oh, shit!" He pressed the stop button, and two pieces of smouldering black carbon leapt into the air. He caught them, grimaced, and put them in the bin without a second thought.

"Think I'll make some more." He said.

"Good idea." Noel busied himself with the bread, and put it into the toaster again. When he had done that, Julian asked: "So, did you sleep well?"

"Mm. Not bad. I had weird dreams, but it was okay. You?"

"Yeah, pretty good. What sort of dreams did you have?"

"I don't remember anything, really. It was confusing." The toast began to smell of toast, and Noel ejected it quickly. He spread butter on both slices, offered Julian various other toppings, all of which were refused, and they sat down to eat. They were due for a nine am start, so they left the house when they had finished, because everyone knew that a nine am start meant 'be there by quarter to'. Paul was a stickler for punctuality. Anyway, Noel hadn't actually learnt the few lines he had yet, so if he didn't get there to do so, he'd be due a bollocking.

They arrived in the studio at twenty to eight, and were greeted by Spencer Millman. They told him everything that was going on today, and he accepted everything with a vigorous nod. Then he said:

"Hang on a minute. Paul told me you two were, um…" He waved a finger at them, then swayed awkwardly. Julian got the picture.

"Yeah, we're together. We haven't let it into the show. Some people wouldn't like it."

"Yeah, yeah. Fine. Great. Happy for you." Spencer murmured as he wandered off. Noel sniggered at his reaction, and they headed towards the costumes. But Noel's phone suddenly rang shrilly. He picked it up quickly.

"Hello? Oh, alright mate? Yeah, that's good… Yeah, I'm good. Do you know anything about the cameo? Really? That's great… You're okay with the role though, right? Great, fantastic… Yeah, we're filming the episode last, so not until about early August… Yeah. It's a bit weird, but I'm sure you're used to it… Yeah. Alright, mate, good to hear from you. See you next week. Bye." He hung up and turned to Julian with a grin stretched across his face.

"What was that about?" Julian asked.

"We've got someone back that we haven't had since series one. He's the best!"

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, Ju, we've got Matt Berry. Dixon Bainbridge is returning!"

**Reviews are still much appreciated, although I don't deserve them. I was horrible to you :(**

**PS: did anyone else see that Paul King is directing the Paddington Bear film? And does anyone else find it weird?**

**PPS: After this chapter, I'm going to do scenes from the episodes of the Boosh that are being filmed, so it won't be real life, but I'll go back to reality afterwards :)**


	12. Carpets

**A/N: It's back! Yeeeeaaaah! Finally got round to writing it and I'm sorry to anyone who has missed it. Basically, I have no excuse, I just gave up on writing for a while. So I apologise. Anyway. The way this chapter is will be the same as the next five: A scene from a new episode slotted into whatever Noel and Julian are doing. They won't all be at the start like this one is, and hopefully I manage to make it Booshy enough. So enjoy it :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Boosh or its makers. Stop reminding me.**

_Episode one: Carpets_

_The phone rang and Howard rushed over to answer it. _

"_Hello, Howard Moon at Nabootique?" He said. "Oh. Hi Naboo. How are you doing? No, we're fine in the shop… No we haven't broken anything! Oh, for god's sake… Yes, I'll get him. Wait a minute." He put the phone down on the counter and shouted:_

"_Vince! Naboo's on the phone, he wants to talk to you!" Vince came out of the storeroom and rolled his eyes. He picked up the phone and said:_

"_Alright, Naboo?"_

"_Alright, Vince." Naboo replied. "Listen, me and Bollo could do with a hand."_

"_Why, what's happened this time?"_

"_Well… it's hard to explain…"_

"_Come on, Naboo, I can't help you if I don't know what I'm doing."_

"_You never know what you're doin'. Look, I 'ad a few too many and I crashed the magic carpet. I got no fuckin' idea where we are. Can you come get us?" _

"_Yeah, I suppose…" He realised something. "Hang on, if you don't know where you are, how do I know?"_

"_I'm coming to that. Listen up, you ballbag."_

"_Alright, alright, keep your robe on."_

"_You have to get my crystal ball. I'll turn on the GPS on the carpet and it'll show up on the ball. Then you can come and get us."_

"_Right. Can I bring Howard?"_

"_No, I don't wanna deal with him."_

"_Aw, come on, Naboo. I ain't got no sense o' direction. Howard'll be better at it." Naboo sighed down the phone._

"_Fine. It's true that the only thing you can find your way to is Topshop."_

"_Precisely. Now go and turn your GPS on so we can fetch you."_

"_Yeah, will do. See ya." Naboo hung up, and Vince put the phone down, shaking his head at the incompetent shaman._

"Cut! That's it for today." Paul shouted, and Noel and Julian left the set to change out of their costumes. Noel stopped on the way out to talk to Mike, although not precisely by choice.

"Oi, Noel!" He shouted. Noel spun around.

"What d'you want?" He replied with mock-annoyance.

"Is everything sorted out for the last episode?"

"Yeah, finally. We've got Matt Berry back in on it, and I think we've got all the outfits. And the van's still around somewhere."

"Right, good. Just checking. Go and get changed, I'm bein' blinded by your shiny trousers." It was true that skin tight gold jeans were very over the top, but that was Vince. And Noel. Noel would have been perfectly happy to keep them on, along with the black shirt with skulls on it. The shirt was, of course, his own. But the trousers needed to go back into the costume department, so he went off to change. By the time he got there, Julian was just tying his shoelaces, having finished getting changed. He smiled as Noel entered.

"I think that went okay, don't you?" He said.

"Yeah, it wasn't bad. The little fight with the Goths was funny."

"Yeah, I could see you giggling when one tried to get you in a headlock."

"It wasn't my fault! It tickled." Julian shook his head.

"Of course. I do like the idea of Vince encountering Goths, trying to impress them with his shirt with skulls on, and then accidently showing them his trousers."

"Yeah. You can imagine it, can't you?"

"I don't need to, I just saw you acting it."

"Good point. Still, it's a good job Howard didn't get involved in the fight; you can just imagine what the Goths would say about that."

"It wouldn't be nice, would it?"

"Nope." Noel pulled his t-shirt back on and put his hat on his head. He and Julian walked out of the changing room and towards the studio exit, saying goodbye to everyone they passed. Mike and Dave were looking over scripts with Paul, so they stayed rather than leaving at normal time. Noel walked slowly along the pavements until they got out of the BBC centre. Then he walked faster, catching up with Julian. He hopped up onto a low wall and walked along it. Julian looked up at him and said:

"What are you doing?"

"You just answered the question." Julian looked confused.

"How, exactly?"

"You looked up at me. It's nice not to be the short one for once." Julian sighed and smiled. He put an arm around Noel's waist as he jumped down and said:

"I will always look up to you, Noel Fielding. No matter how tall you are." They stopped and kissed for a short while. Noel grinned.

"Nice to know, I suppose." He paused then said: "Race you back." And took off running. Julian ran after him, shouting:

"You're such a little kid!" Noel's laugh floated back to him on the breeze and he sprinted to catch up. For a while they were whipping past people and buildings, children again. But a few streets later, Julian stopped and said:

"If I run any further, my lungs are going to implode."

"Yep." Noel said between gasps for air. "Yeah. Me too." They began to walk again, slowly, letting their breath return.

"This is what it's about really, isn't it?" Julian asked.

"What is? I honestly don't know what you're talking about. That was kind of off subject."

"Just doing things on the spur of the moment. That's what you should do all the time."

"Why?"

"Cause you never know how much time you've got. But then, you shouldn't worry about that, because you start fearing for your life all the time."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I think… you should just take each day as it comes. It's easier now I've got someone to keep me on the right track though." He looked at Julian and raised his eyebrows.

"Me?" Noel nodded. "Well. At least I've got some use."

"Julian, don't start that again. You're the most useful person on the planet. You can do loads of stuff."

"Like what?"

"Act. Write. Play guitar. Sing. Y'know. Stuff." Julian laughed.

"Yeah. Stuff." He hugged Noel close and they walked like that, side by side, until they got home, at which point they realised they would have problems getting through the door. But when they were inside, they settled on the sofa in pretty much the same position. Noel turned on the TV and flicked through a few channels, eventually finding a repeat of a comedy show they both liked. They sat in comfortable silence for a while until Noel finally said:

"Ju? I'm bored of this."

"Yeah? I thought you liked this show?"

"I know, but I've seen this one. And I'm hungry."

"Shall we go and make dinner, then?" Noel tilted his head for a second, considering.

"Yeah." He agreed, and they went into the kitchen to find something edible.

**Okay, I'm gonna try and do a weekly update, if not more regularly. Depends on my ideas. I won't keep you hanging too much though, I promise. Reviews would be fabby :3**


	13. Apocalypse

**A/N: Chapter thirteen, once again in the middle of the night because I thought it was a good idea. I am very tired so if I have any mistakes, put it down to that. Or just stupidity, that's an equally likely option. Also, the extract from the Boosh is slightly overly serious, which I apologise for. Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Boosh or its amazing actors. I wish ;)**

_Episode 2: Apocalypse_

Julian shook Noel awake.

"Noel, we're gonna be late. You need to get up." Noel merely groaned and rolled over in his sleep. "Noel, seriously. It's half-eight. The alarm clock didn't go off." Noel's eyes opened and he squinted in the light.

"Morning." He mumbled.

"Morning. Come on, up. Get dressed. We've got stuff to do."

"Ugh. Alright." He rolled out of bed reluctantly, yawning. Julian went downstairs to make breakfast, so that Noel wouldn't have to fart about with it when he was ready. Ten minutes later, they were sat at the table eating vaguely burnt toast. Another fifteen minutes after that, they were out of the door, striding towards the studio.

"Sleep alright?" Noel belatedly inquired.

"Yeah, not bad. You?"

"Yeah, alright. Had a really weird dream though."

"What happened?"

"Well, you and me, we were in this tree house, and we were just sat about really, except we were both wearing all-black clothes, and then the tree house started moving, like it was on wheels…" Julian listened to Noel's full account of the dream, which took until the studio was in sight. "…And then it head-butted me, and then you woke me up."

"You have a very strange mind, Noel."

"Yeah, but that's why you love me."

"Yeah, it is." They walked inside hand-in-hand, almost colliding with Paul.

"Whoops, sorry guys." He said. He checked his watch. "You're late." He berated them.

"Sorry. Clock malfunction." Noel replied.

"Alright. Go and get yourselves sorted out. You know what we're doing today?"

"Yeah, we're on it." They headed for the changing rooms and put their costumes on once again, before heading for the main set. The flat was as full of rubbish as usual, perhaps even more this time around. But it was still a sort of home for them, and they felt comfortable just moving about inside. They got into their positions for the first scene, which was in fact near the end of the episode.

"Alright," Paul shouted. "Action!"

_Vince sat down on the sofa and switched on the TV. He was already pretty sure of what he would see, but he had to check. Sure enough, a news correspondent stood in front of an unusual star in the night sky. Except it wasn't a star._

"_I'm just outside the city, where the threat to the planet can clearly be seen." He said. "This asteroid is heading towards Earth at an extremely high speed. We expect it to hit within the afternoon. Scientists have said that there isn't a hope of stopping it. So, to our viewers, I wish you the best of luck. Thank you for watching, and goodbye." Vince stared open-mouthed at the screen, silenced. But not for long._

"_Howard!" He shouted. Howard walked into the room, headphones still in his ears._

"_What d'you want? I'm trying to listen to my jazz!"_

"_Howard, y'know we saw that star earlier? It's headin' for Earth, and we're gonna die! I don't wanna die."_

"_Hey. It'll be fine, Vince. The scientists'll sort it out."_

"_No they won't, they just said they can't." Howard sighed and took his earphones out._

"_C'mon, little man. Everything's gonna be alright."_

"_Ain't that what you said when we was in the tundra?"_

"_Yeah…"_

"_And you were wrong then."_

"_Look, come with me. If we're gonna die, we might as well do something." Vince followed Howard out of the flat and onto the roof, into the night air._

"_Why are we up here?" Vince asked._

"_So we can see the stars."_

"_I don't like the stars."_

"_What?"_

"_The stars are boring. I'd rather watch Peacock Dreams or somethin'."_

"_Look, Vince, it's the end of the world, they aren't just gonna put Peacock Dreams on, are they?"_

"_I dunno, they might do."_

"_Believe me, they won't. Anyway, don't you want to spend your last moments with your best friend?"_

"_Not really, no."_

"_You- What?"_

"_I'm joking, Howard. I'd prefer it if Naboo and Bollo were here, though."_

"_Yeah, well, they've pissed off to get high one last time."_

"_Yeah."_

"_Listen, Vince." Howard said, more seriously than Vince liked. "If the world's gonna end, I need to say something."_

"_Yeah? Go on…"_

"_I- I love you Vince. Really, I do."_

"_Um… yeah. I love you too." Vince said, trying to back away without falling off the roof._

"_I just… needed you to know before we die."_

"_Like the last time. When we didn't die."_

"_Yeah. But there's no stopping it this time."_

"_No." Vince looked at the moon, trying to escape the awkwardness. An idea struck him._

"_Oi, Moon!" He shouted. The Moon turned to look at him._

"_Ayyy, look, it's the sparkly man! I like 'im, he's all… all glittery."_

"_Alright, Moon. Listen, there's an asteroid heading for Earth-"_

"_Aw, I know. Ain't it pretty? I just been watchin' it… Gettin' closer and closer… So bright."_

"_Yeah, it looks alright. But listen, could you-"_

"_An' it can talk. It said t' me, 'I like you, Moon. I wanna… do things with you, Moon.' It said, 'I got to destroy this planet, but then we'll go out.' And I said, no, you're too young. And it said, 'Age is just a number', so I'm not listenin' to 'im anymore."_

"_Look, mate, can you stop it?"_

"_I mean, he's not very nice. I told 'im, I'm just a satellite, all lonely. I can't have a companion, I go ma own way- OW!" He nearly fell out of the sky as the asteroid smacked him on the back of the head. Vince laughed._

"_Brilliant!" He said._

"_Oww. He bounced off the back… the back of ma head. He did. I got migraine now. I'm gonna need some huge aspirin…" He spun around again._

"_Howard, the asteroid's getting smaller! It's going!" Vince shouted excitedly._

"_I know. Fantastic." Howard replied unenthusiastically._

"_We aren't gonna die!"_

"_Yeah, great."_

"_Howard? D'you still love me?" Vince teased._

"_Shut up."_

Noel and Julian left the set laughing.

"I loved that last scene, it was genius." Noel said.

"It was pretty intellectual, it's true." Julian replied.

"Ooh, riffing of my catchphrase, are you?"

"I thought you didn't do catchphrases?"

"Yeah, well. Time for a change."

"It was really odd doing that awkward 'I love you' scene, wasn't it?"

"It was, a bit. Since we did it in Tundra, and then they kissed in Party, and now we've basically done it in reality as well."

"Well, you know. Not much exaggeration in the Boosh, is there?"

"There's even bloody less of it these days."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"In the sense of love scenes? Definitely not."

**Yay, I finally got to write the Moon! I don't know how well I did it, but it was fun :P Reviews are still just as awesome as the big white guy himself :)**


	14. The Green Man

**A/N: Hello! This is your first upload of the night, it's currently 23:58 according to my clock, so I just made Thursday. The next chapter will be up early on Friday. ASAP, though, honestly. Enjoy! :D**

**Disclaimer: If I owned it, would I keep neglecting it? No. So go away.**

_Episode 3: The Green Man_

Noel stretched out on the bench outside the studios. He was wearing white jeans, a t-shirt with a tiger on it, and a pair of sunglasses to shield against the sunlight. They were on lunch break, but he'd finished eating and wanted to get a bit of sun. So he lay down with his arm behind his head and one knee up, watching the few fluffy white clouds pass slowly overhead. Julian and the others were still inside, but he was happy to be alone for a bit after the hectic activity that had been going on lately. The quiet outside was a relief. He sighed happily and closed his eyes, remembering what had brought them to where they were now. Their first meeting, after which he'd stalked Julian a bit. Their first gig. The pilot episode, the three series, the two tours. And the more recent stuff. He remembered meeting Julian by chance at the market that freezing February day. The feelings of elation when they decided to restart the Boosh. The look on Julian's face when they kissed. The hope he felt when he'd given the ring to Julian and forgotten all the bad things to concentrate on the good. He'd noticed that Julian had started wearing it all the time, never making anything of it; he just let it sit on his finger, silently showing the world what he felt. Noel was glad that he wanted to. The ring represented forever. Julian was showing that forever was what he wanted.

After a while, Dave came outside, the area around his eyes still painted black. He saw Noel reclining on the bench and called back:

"He's out here." Julian wandered out behind him, and Noel sat up to make room for him.

"Alright?" he said.

"Yeah. You alright out here on your own?"

"Yeah, just fancied a bit of quiet."

"Oh. Okay."

"That's not to say I don't want to be with you, Ju. Don't assume." He leant on Julian, and Dave rolled his eyes in mock-annoyance.

"You two can't keep your hands off each other, can you?" He said.

"Nope." Noel grinned, slipping an arm around Julian's waist.

"I'll go and get Mike." Dave threatened.

"No way! Keep him away from me until I 'ave to act with him."

"Why?"

"Cause he's gone back into little brother mode, he's driving me insane."

"Ah. Whatever, I'm going back in. Too hot out here, at least we've got air-con inside." He turned on his heel and went into the studio. Noel looked at Julian, who was smiling to himself.

"Ju, d'you think we're a bit too public with this?"

"No, I don't think so. People can say what they like."

"Yeah, but I don't want people to get on their high horses because they think we shouldn't be together."

"They won't; Dave was only joking. Anyway, have you _met_ our fans?"

"Yeah. Good point. We have got a lot of shippers."

"Shippers? Work on the docks, do they?" Noel laughed at Julian's misunderstanding.

"No, it's a kind of fanfiction term. If you ship two people, that means you want them to be together. So if you ship, that makes you a shipper."

"And people ship us?"

"Yeah. Seriously, there's some bloody weird stuff on the web."

"Not sure I want to know." Julian cringed. Noel shook his head, then swiftly changed the subject.

"So, are you ready for the next scene?"

"Yeah, not too taxing."

"Not for you, maybe. I have to play two people." Julian laughed.

"Oh, it's hard for you, isn't it?" he teased. Noel pushed him gently.

"Shut up." He muttered half-heartedly.

"Oh, you know I don't mean it."

"Obviously."

They finally headed inside after noticing that the extras were all trailing back to the studio. Julian was still in costume, so he went straight to the set, but Noel had to go to make-up. He sat down in the chair and resigned himself to the green paint being slathered onto his face. Next were the greyish wig, the polo, and the top hat. The red jeans, long black coat, and red scarf were put on, and he was handed a cane. He took it with a glint in his eye, and the character was complete. The Hitcher walked onto the set, grinning widely. Julian looked him over and said:

"Looking good."

"Thanks."

"You ready to go?"

"Yep." Paul came over as well.

"Wow, looking even better than last time."

"Yeah, they did a good job."

"Right. Places! Ready? And… Action!"

_Howard stood in the kitchen, a gibbering wreck. There was a… a thing. It hadn't seen him yet. Or he hoped it hadn't. It was small, and squat, and purple, and it bent in all the wrong places. It crouched near the cupboard, poking around for something, making noises that sounded like: 'KKKkkkrrrIIIIiiiiiiiiOOOoooO OOOooaaaaaAAAaaSSssSSSSSSss'. Howard backed away as quietly as he could. However, this being Howard, he walked into the broom, left leaning on the fridge for some reason, and knocked it over. The resulting thud made the creature turn around, leering and wiggling its tongue. Howard took one look, screeched, and ran down the stairs to the shop. He nearly ran straight into Vince._

"_Oi, watch it." Vince said. "These heels are higher than my usual, I'll fall over if you knock me about. What's up wi' you anyway?" Howard merely hid behind Vince and pointed at the stairs. "What, up there?" He headed for the staircase._

"_No!" Howard shouted in a panic, holding him back. "You can't go up there, it'll get you!"_

"_What will?"_

"_The thing. It's all purple, and it's got these teeth and this tongue and it looks a bit like Bob Fossil!"_

"_Howard, you're not just overreacting to a beetle again, are you?"_

"_No, sir, I am not! That is a… a… I don't know what it is. But we can't go up there until we get rid of it."_

"_Alright, alright, cool your boots." He turned towards the stockroom and shouted: "Naboo!"_

"_What're you doing, ya ballbags? I'm tryin' to concentrate in 'ere." Naboo said, emerging._

"_Listen, Naboo, Howard says there's somethin' upstairs. Can you go see if you can get rid of it?" Naboo shrugged._

"_Yeah, alright, I'm not doin' a lot." He started up the stairs as Bollo poked his head out of the stockroom. His shaman master reached the top step and peered around the corner into the kitchen. He swore in Xooberon a few times, then ran back down the stairs._

"_There's nuffin' I can do about that. That's a difficult one. You need someone with evil inside that equals it. I ain't ever been an angel, but I'm not that bad." Howard shuddered, and Vince tilted his head to the side, smiling._

"_Don't worry, Naboo. I've got an idea." He picked up the toy eel on the counter. "The Hitcher gave me this when we made up with him. If you press the button, it summons him."_

"_What button? There is no button." Howard said, frustrated. Vince flipped the eels head back, and a red button was revealed._

"_Yes there is." He pressed it as Naboo headed back for the stockroom. The lights flickered and dimmed. When they came on again, a voice could be heard from near the door._

"_Evenin' squire. What brings you t' press that button then, boy?" Vince and Howard turned around and saw the rather threatening figure of the Hitcher. But Vince was prepared._

"_Alright?" He said with a smile. "It's been ages since we've seen you. How you doing?" The Hitcher faltered._

"_Well. I… Not bad, actually. Thank you."_

"_Good, great. Listen, we've got a bit of a problem here. We were just wondering if you could give us a hand?" The Hitcher seemed to get his bottle back a little._

"_Why, of course, boy. With what may I assist you this fine evenin'?"_

"_We've got a… sort of demon thing in the flat. We can't go up there until it's gone. Could you take a look for us?"_

"_Well, I don't see why not. Can you describe it?"_

"_It's purple and it's got teeth and a tongue."_

"_Right. Very 'elpful, aren't you?" He shook his head and headed up the stairs. "Now, let's see if this one'll give in to the eels, eh?"_

**Reviews are always very welcome :)**


	15. A Funny Smell

**A/N: It's done! This one was fun to write, especially the beginning bit. Even though it is now 1:01. Sigh. Anyway. I'd better get on. Have fun reading :P**

**Disclaimer: Nononononononononono. If you need further proof, look up the video of the cat saying no. He'll tell you all you need to know. (Seriously, look it up, it's hilarious)**

_Episode 4: A Funny Smell_

Noel woke up with a pain in his head and no recollection of the night before. This wasn't, of course, the first time this had happened to him. Given that he couldn't remember anything, he didn't know if he'd drunk himself silly or just hit his head very hard. He groaned. He felt a bit sick, but again, it could have been hangover or concussion. No, if it was concussion, he shouldn't have been asleep, should he? Or something like that. When he finally decided to open his eyes, the sunlight hit them, and his head screamed at him. Yep. Definitely hung-over. He looked to his right, but Julian wasn't next to him. Hmm. That was weird. Still, he always got up early, so he was probably in the shower. He sat up and winced as his head complained painfully. He felt awful. Now that he was upright, whatever was in his stomach was determined to get out. He groaned and stood up, wobbling slightly. He didn't remember ever having a hangover quite so… violent. Then again, he didn't remember anything else either. It was like his memory had been wiped. He recalled leaving the studio with the others, them proposing a drink in the nearest pub… then nothing until this morning. He couldn't hear Julian in the shower, so he headed downstairs. Julian was at the table in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, an untouched sandwich, and an expression that suggested he wasn't feeling too hot either. He managed a smile as Noel walked in.

"Alright?" He said hoarsely.

"No." Noel replied truthfully.

"Well, I'm not that surprised."

"I can't remember anything, Ju. What did I do last night?"

"I don't remember all of it, but I was reliably informed by Mike that you drank an enormous amount of some blue alcohol, danced on the table with Rich, fell off the table, hit your head, threw up, and then passed out."

"Ah. Great." He sat at the table with Julian. "What about you? What happened to you?"

"I drank a lot of pints. I survived until we got back here. Which is good, because we had to carry you home."

"Oh. Sorry about that."

"Oh, it's alright. We have to let our hair down sometimes."

"Yeah. At least we don't start filming until the afternoon today."

"No, but Rich had to be in at nine, and he was drinking about the same as you."

"Oh, god. Bet he's happy."

"Bet he's late."

"How do you know?"

"Cause it's eight o clock and he's asleep in the spare room."

"What?"

"I didn't want to wake him up yet. I'll give Paul a call when I feel less like my head isn't attached to the rest of me."

"Good idea." Noel winced as his head gave a particularly painful twinge.

"D'you want me to get you some water?"

"Please."

"You should have some sugar as well. It'll make you feel less shaky."

"Really?"

"Yeah. And you need Paracetemol instead of aspirin."

"Why?"

"Aspirin makes your stomach feel worse."

"Okay. How do you know all this?"

"I looked it up this morning when I realised you didn't have any aspirin."

"Okay." Julian put a glass of water, two sugar cubes and two Paracetemol down in front of Noel. "Thanks." He dissolved the sugar in the water, then used it to take the painkillers. Then he put his head down on the table, waiting for it to kick in.

It was ten am when Rich came into the kitchen. They gave him the same cure as Noel had had, and sat down together. They were all still dishevelled, in their pyjamas, and Noel had put his sunglasses on to protect against the sunlight coming in the window.

"So, I danced on a table?" Rich asked.

"Yeah, so did I." Noel replied. "And then I fell off, threw up, and passed out. Apparently you just laughed. Thanks for that."

"Sorry. I probably didn't even notice, I drank so much crap. You know, I threw up earlier, and it was blue." Julian groaned.

"Too much information, Rich." He said with a frown.

"Sorry about that." Rich was still smiling, even though the remedy had not started to work yet. Noel and Julian had had a couple of hours to recover slightly. But Rich was just a naturally cheery person. He told them about the one part of the night he could remember:

"Well, I needed the bathroom, about half-eleven. So I went to the restroom, and then I got beaten up by a frightened woman. Turns out the ability to read door signs disappears after so much alcohol."

"Who'd've guessed?" Noel snarked.

"Hey. You're grumpy when you're hung-over." Rich replied.

"Sorry. I feel like my head's gonna cave in. And we have to go to the studio at twelve."

"Aw, shit. I should have been there at nine."

"It's alright, we gave Paul a ring. He knew we were out last night, he's rearranged your scene for later on." Julian explained.

"Oh, great. Thanks. What are we doing today, anyway?"

"Old Gregg. Remember that idea we had in Maison Berteaux, back when it was all snowy?" Noel said.

"Oh, right. Yeah."

"The thing is, I'm not sure it's gonna work that well."

"Why not?" Julian asked.

"Cause we already cleared stuff up with Old Gregg, kind of. You know we had that scene where the girl was him in disguise?"

"We cut that from the episode though, didn't we?"

"Yeah, but it's on the DVD. Anyone who's seen it will just get confused."

"No, they won't. They'll know that that bit was cut, and they'll imagine it as if that never happened. It'll be fine, Vince. People will get it."

"Yeah, it's all good." Rich put in.

"Hmm. Yeah. I guess so."

At half-twelve, Noel's head wasn't totally pain-free, but it was better. He still felt a bit sick, and he hadn't been able to face eating. But he could function now, at least. The studio, at least, was nice and cool. It made him feel worse when he went outside, for some reason. He felt dizzy and strange, like his head was full of hot feathers. But he didn't have time to think of that now. They were about to film. Also, his tutu was getting in the way. Paul was getting slightly frustrated at them all, but in the end, he managed to shout 'Action!'

_Howard marched into the living room, a pile of material in his arms._

"_Naboo, where are all the clean sheets?" Naboo didn't turn from the episode of Peacock Dreams he was watching._

"_I dunno, I'm not in charge of 'em."_

"_Well, what about towels?"_

"_No idea."_

"_Come on. There's got to be someone in this place who knows where clean material is!"_

"_Well, you could try the airing cupboard in your room. And clean it out while you're at it." He waited until Howard had walked off before muttering: "Ballbag." Bollo nodded._

"_Ballbag." He agreed. Meanwhile, Howard was trying to drag Vince over to help._

"_Come on, Vince. Give me a hand."_

"_Why? I don't want to. Do I have to?"_

"_Yes! Come on!"_

"_What will you give me?"_

"_I… I don't know, I'll pay next month's subscription to Cheekbone?" Vince grinned._

"_Done." He got up and strode over to the dusty brown cupboard door. "God, how long has it been since we used this?"_

"_A while." Howard opened the door wide and recoiled, wrinkling his nose. "Ugh. There's a funny smell in here."_

"_Yeah. Like… seaweed. And… Bailey's?" Howard's eyes opened wide and he paled to total whiteness._

"_Oh. Shit." He said. Suddenly, a heap of sheets exploded from the cupboard and a green scaly creature with a moustache and a mangina leapt out._

"_D'you love me now, Howard?" Gregg asked. Vince looked on in horror._

"_You're on your own Howard, sorry!" He ran out of the room, leaving Howard at the mercy of his stalker._

**Oh, I had fun with this one. :D**

**Reviews would be luvverly-jubberly. Much love x**


	16. Angel

**A/N: It's fairly obvious what this chapter's about from the off, so i don't feel the need to explain it. Also, I need to do this quickly as my internet connection is playing merry hell all day. And all of the last three days. I hate BT. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. There's more swearing than usual, I think, because there are a lot of insults. Sorry, couldn't help myself.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything at all. Nothing.**

_Episode 5: Angel_

Noel stood in the studio changing room, holding up a piece of white material and frowning dubiously.

"It's a bit plain. Are you sure it's angelic enough?" He asked.

"Why does it matter?" Julian replied. "No one's gonna mistake you for anything else, are they, with the massive wings."

"Yeah, good point." He put on the white robe. "God, it's short."

"You said it was fine when you tried it on before!"

"Well, either I was wrong or I was lyin', cause it could do with a few more inches." He tugged the hem down a bit.

"Aren't you wearing leggings anyway?"

"Oh, yeah. Forgot about them. Where are they?"

"Here." Julian handed him a pair of white leggings and he put them on under his robe.

"Right, can you give me a hand with my wings?"

"Sure." They picked up the feathery monstrosities and Julian clipped the straps over Noel's shoulders. "There you go. No one would guess they're made of cardboard."

"Yeah. You gotta hand it to them; the costume ladies know what they're doing. Where d'you think they got the feathers?"

"I don't know."

"Looks like they've killed about four swans."

"Maybe they have. You never know."

"You do sometimes."

"Well, not this time. Anyway, come on, we'd better go to the set."

"Yeah." They made to walk out, but Noel turned back quickly, almost knocking Julian out with his wings. "Hang on, you forgot your hat." He picked it up, placed it on Julian's head, and kissed him on the cheek.

"Thank you very much." Julian smiled. They headed to the flat set, where Naboo's room was in full view for the first time this series. Dave burst out laughing as soon as he saw Noel.

"What's your problem?" Noel asked.

"You look like a woman!" Dave exclaimed.

"That's the whole point, you nitwit." Dave managed to control himself for long enough to look at the costume properly.

"All white, very holy. I notice they're still your own boots, though."

"O' course they are."

"And you can still do that posh Goth voice?"

"The Richmond voice? I've been practising."

"He has." Julian said. "All last night. He was doing my head in." Noel grinned proudly.

"Noel, 'ave you dyed your hair again?" Mike said, coming on set.

"It's a wig, Mike. I wanted to be blond sometime this series, but I couldn't commit, y'know?" Noel replied.

"You couldn't commit? What are you doing, suffering from a break-up?"

"You know what I mean."

"Fortunately, yeah."

"Alright, places everyone!" Paul shouted.

"My turban straight?" Mike whispered.

"It's fine." Julian replied. The clapperboards snapped shut.

"Right, Action!"

"_Where are you going?" Howard asked as Vince tried to sneak out of the shop unnoticed._

"_Um… Nowhere."_

"_It's working hours; you should be behind the counter or in the stockroom."_

"_Howard, I'd love to help you and all, but I've got important business to attend to."_

"_You mean you're going to Topshop because they've got a sale on."_

"_Oh, come on, Howard, please let me go! I'll be twenty minutes. Half an hour tops."_

"_You'll be three hours at least. I know you; you get enticed by all the sparkles."_

"_Howard, please-"_

"_No. Go and do the stock check." Vince pulled a face._

"_Fine." He grumped his way to the stockroom door. Howard wasn't looking. The back door was open. A window of opportunity appeared, and Vince took a hammer to it. He ran out the back door, and by the time Howard heard his footsteps, he was gone._

"_That little tit. I'm gonna kill him." He started towards the door, ready to go and fetch him back from his little sojourn and give him a right telling off. And then he remembered the Topshop crowd. The Trendies. The Fashionistas. He remembered all his bad experiences with them, and imagined all the looks he would get if he ever walked into Topshop. "On second thoughts," he said, "I'll kill him when he gets back." He busied himself with Stationery Village for a while, but before long there was a shout from upstairs._

"_Vince!" Naboo called._

"_He's not here." Howard shouted back._

"_Well wh…" Howard didn't hear the rest of it._

"_Hang on, I'll come and talk to you." He climbed the stairs and found Naboo in the living room with Bollo standing guard outside their bedroom door. "What did you say?" Howard asked._

"_If Vince isn't 'ere, where is he?"_

"_Oh, um…" Howard didn't want to get Vince into trouble. Well, not with Naboo. Howard himself would give him hell later, but he didn't want Naboo after him. "I sent him out to get something."_

"_What did you send 'im out for?"_

"_Um…" He tried to remember some shamanistic ingredient that he had heard Naboo on about. All he could recall was: "Owl beaks." Naboo gave him a Look._

"_Right. And who's lookin' after the shop now?"_

"_No one."_

"_Right. Well, I wanted Vince and his people skills in front of me, but you'll 'ave to do. Bollo, get outta the way." Bollo obeyed and Naboo pushed Howard into his bedroom._

"_What the fuck is that?" Howard exclaimed loudly. The thing turned to him and his tiny eyes became somewhat larger than normal. "Please don't kill me; I've got so much to give!"_

"_Kill you? Why would I do that?" It said._

"_Well, aren't you some horrific hell demon?"_

"_No, I'm an angel. You summoned me here." Howard relaxed slightly._

"_No I didn't." He said._

"_Well, someone did." The angel looked around the room. "Yes, with that thing there." He pointed at Naboo's crystal ball._

"_That's not for summonin' angels." Naboo said._

"_No, it's an added function." He picked up the ball. "See, it says on the label." He showed them the square of paper on the bottom._

"_I can't see it." Howard said._

"_Nope." Naboo concurred. Even Bollo shook his head._

"_Me either."_

"_You have to read the fine print." The angel held the ball so close to his face that he went cross-eyed. "Just here, see? 'Rubbing this crystal in an anti-clockwise direction will summon a high-ranking angel, who will grant you a wish.'"_

"_S'a bit clichéd, isn't it?" Naboo said._

"_Yes, but I'm an angel. I practically _am_ a walking cliché."_

"_Well, if it's alright with you, I don't think we really need a wish." Howard said, looking at the other two. They nodded in agreement._

"_Ah. Then that means that, in return for wasting my time, you must do something for me." He smiled._

"_Oh, god. Well, maybe we do need a wish."_

"_No, no, no!" The angel said, probably more camply than he intended. "You can't go back on your word. You said no, I want a wish."_

"_Alright, fine! What do you want?"_

"_Well, I've been after something for a while, never seen one anywhere-" He was interrupted by a crash from downstairs._

"_Howard, I'm back! I only got one thing, look! Howard? Howard?"_

"_Upstairs, Vince!" Howard shouted. Vince dashed in a moment later with his Topshop bag, tripping over the corner of the rug and falling flat on his face._

"_Who's this feathery berk?" He asked as he got up._

"_How dare you! I am a high-ranking angel."_

"_Probably a bossy feathery berk, then." He turned to Howard. "D'you want to see what I got? Look, it's this shirt, right, and it's silver and shiny, but it _doesn't_ look like tinfoil. _And_ it's stretchy! Genius!" He held it up. The angel gasped._

"_That's it! That was my wish! A shirt just like that one!"_

"_No way! You're not 'aving this!" The angel frowned and sulked._

"_What happens if we don't give you it?" Howard asked._

"_I'll stay here forever and you'll never get rid of me." Howard turned to Vince in desperation._

"_Vince, please give him it! You can get another one. I really don't want that fool hanging around here. I bet he's even more annoying than you." Vince scowled._

"_Right, that's it. No one takes my 'Most Annoying' title." He thrust the shirt at the angel, who took it in delight._

"_Oh, thank you!" He said._

"_My pleasure. Now piss off." The angel disappeared in a puff of smoke. Or it looked like it, anyway. It was actually just Naboo and Bollo, who had settled down on the bad with a hookah to watch the show._

"_I thought you were out buyin' owl beaks?" Naboo asked Vince._

"_What?" Vince pulled a face. "No way. Where'd you get that idea? I was at Topshop." Howard facepalmed._

"_I was trying to keep you out of trouble." He said._

"_Oh."_

"_S'alright, Vince. I know you like shoppin'. And you did save us from a lifetime of feathery doom." Naboo said._

"_Oh. Thanks." He smiled and he and Howard made their way down to the shop._

"_You jammy little bastard." Howard muttered._

"_If only you got away with everything so easily, Howard." Vince replied smugly._

"_Shut up. Stock check. Now."_

"_Yes, boss." He mock-saluted and went into the stockroom, but Howard could hear him laughing all the way._

**Reviews are the nicest things ever, even nicer than meringues. Meringues are just nice. Reviews are just nicer.**

**The next chapter of Vita Sola, Ars Perfectum will be up sometime tonight, when my connection is sufficient again.**

**Much love x**


	17. Not Again

**A/N: There's been a bit of a change of plan with this one. I was writing the episode excerpt, and it kept getting longer and longer, so now it's the whole chapter. It's a bit like a one-shot in its own rite. I hope I managed to make it realistic, although I know some bits went wrong. I aslo apologise for how long it is. I hope you enjoy it :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. At all.**

Episode six: Not again

Vince, Naboo and Bollo stood around shouting at Howard. All their complaints were merging together into one loud mess that made his head hurt. He tried to talk some sense into them, but they got louder and louder, ignoring his pleas…

Howard jerked awake and immediately fell out of bed, hitting the ground with a thump. He sat up and rubbed his head.

"Weird." He muttered to himself. He stood up to find Vince on the other side of the room searching through his stuff.

"Morning, Vince." He said. Vince turned around with a scowl on his face.

"Have you been through my stuff?" He demanded.

"What?"

"I can't find anything! It's all in… alphabetical order, or somethin'."

"Well, I have had a sort out. I thought we all needed to be a bit more organised."

"Organised? Howard, I know it was a mess, but I knew where everything was! That's organised enough for me!"

"Well, it looked untidy. What if we'd had visitors? They'd think you're a slob."

"We never 'ave visitors, and anyway, what would they be doing in here?" Howard opened his mouth to reply, just as Naboo and Bollo came in.

"What's goin' on 'ere?" Naboo asked.

"He's tidied all my stuff up!" Vince exclaimed, pointing at Howard in accusation.

"Oh, really?" Naboo looked at him. "Is that why all my potions are now in alphabetical order and my spell books are stacked smallest to largest?"

"Yes! Your room was a mess! What if we'd had visitors?" Howard repeated.

"We don't let visitors into our rooms, you pillock."

"Less of the insults, Naboo."

"No chance! You know what? Some of my potions have to be in a certain order to work! I've gotta remake all of them ones now!"

"Yeah, and it's gonna take me months to get my half of the room lived-in again!" Vince piped up. They all started shouting at once, and Howard couldn't understand. In the end, he had had enough.

"SHUT UP!" He yelled. They stopped at looked at him angrily. "Y'know what? I've had it with you lot. You're a bunch of no-hopers. As soon as I've got everything sorted out, I'm leaving. I can't live with you lot any longer." They stared at him in astonishment, before he pushed him out of the room and slammed the door.

"Stupid Harold." Bollo muttered. He slouched off to his and Naboo's room. Naboo shook his head.

"Mental case." He said, following his familiar. Vince turned and looked at the door. He knocked loudly.

"Piss off." Howard said.

"Come on, Howard, this is my room as well." Vince replied.

"Yeah, well, I'm getting dressed."

"Oh. Hurry up." A few minutes later, Howard opened the door. Vince walked into the room and stared at him.

"What?" He said sharply.

"'_What_?' I'll tell you what, Howard. You're leavin'? You can't do that!"

"Why not, sir?"

"Because… Because you live here! You _belong_ here; you can't just bugger off somewhere else!"

"I can, and I'm going to."

"Howard-"

"Look, Vince, I'm just fed up of this place. I need somewhere new. Somewhere exciting."

"Right. And this is where you give me the whole '_it's not you, it's me_' speech, yeah?"

"What? No. It's entirely you." Vince looked hurt. "Well, you and the other two. I just need a change from people giving me a hard time."

"We can change, though, Howard. You don't have to go."

"_You_ might change. Naboo and Bollo won't."

"But-"

"No. I'm going."

"When?"

"Maybe tomorrow. Maybe the day after, I don't know. Maybe even today."

"No. Not today."

"Right then. Tomorrow it is."

"Fine."

"Fine." Vince left the room and went straight in to Naboo.

"What d'you want?" The shaman grumbled.

"He's serious, Naboo. He's gonna leave!"

"Yeah, and?"

"And he's my friend! He won't change his mind. Can you give him something to stop him?"

"Like a potion?"

"Yeah!"

"Well, I could have done if he hadn't rearranged my collection. The one that changes people's mind-set won't work anymore."

"Oh, for fuck's sake!"

"Look, Vince, why do you want him around anyway? He's a ballbag."

"So are you, when you want to be! He's my friend."

"What 'bout me?" Bollo asked, hurt.

"You're my friend too, Bollo. But it's nice to have a friend who doesn't growl when I insult them and actually wears clothes. And isn't so hairy."

"Oh."

"Look, if you're that bothered about him leavin', why don't you give him a present?" Naboo said. Vince smiled.

"Yeah! That's a great idea! Hey, why don't I throw a party for him again?"

"Thought he hated parties?"

"But what if it's a surprise? Then he can't complain, can he?"

"Good point. When's he leavin'?"

"Tomorrow. We'd better make it quick."

"Right. I'm gonna leave it to you, if that's alright. I don't like 'im anyway."

"I know. But that means you've gotta go with my rules."

"Yeah? What are they?"

"Be nice to him. Don't call him a ballbag. And wear somethin' decent."

"What d'you think this is?" He plucked at the fabric of his robe.

"You've worn the same thing every day for years. Get something else. Oh, and go to the other shamans and get them to come along."

"When?"

"First thing tomorrow. I'm gonna go and get some other people and some decorations. And maybe a new outfit."

"Right then. See you." Vince left Naboo's room and ran down the stairs of the flat. He walked out of the shop and headed for the Velvet Onion. He was prepared for horrific sights when he reached Bob Fossil's office. Sure enough, when he opened the door, Fossil was dancing more sexually than ever before. He winced and averted his eyes.

"Mr Fossil?" He asked. No answer. "Fossil? Bob? Bobby. Bob-meister." Nothing. "BOB FOSSIL!" He shouted. Fossil came out of his reverie.

"Vince! My sweet, have a seat. Hey, that rhymed."

"Yeah…" Vince sat down in front of the desk. "Can I have a word?"

"Sure, my pet, go ahead. Hey, that rhymed too. Do you think I've been cursed to speak in rhyme? Only I've read that can happen, and-"

"Look, I ain't got time for this. I'm organising a party, right, and I need you to help me."

"How can I do that?"

"You're in charge of this place. Find one o' the bands doin' a gig here and bring them to the flat. We'll take it from there."

"What's in it for me?"

"Well…" Vince considered for a moment. "I'll let you come to the party."

"Deal. Lemme see what we got here…" He started going through pieces of paper on his desk. "What about The Flighty Zeus?"

"If you book them, I'll personally put your nuts in a vice and squeeze it till they explode."

"Ooh, tough little guy today, ain't ya? Well, I think-"

"Fossil! Get on with it." Fossil backed off, looking scared.

"Sorry, Vincey. Well, we've got a band called The Skeletal Interpreters."

"Nice, they'll do. Thanks. Party's tomorrow at morning. Send them early."

"And what if I… forget? Will you pay me?"

"Nuts. Vice. The offer still stands." He made to walk out, but turned back. "Oh, and I'll uninvite you." He walked out and headed back out to the street. Hopefully the threat of not being let in (again) would make Fossil sort himself out. Now, where next? He needed to ring around people, but that could wait a while. He could do with some decorations. But there was a Topshop over there. And he really needed a new outfit. Maybe he should go there first? He wouldn't be too long. He'd just nip in, buy something, and leave. He nodded. That was a good idea. He headed for the shop.

Several hours later, Vince left the shop with his purchases. It was a good outfit: a glittery gold jumper, white jeans, and red boots. He thought that Howard would like it. Now he just needed decorations. He wandered off; looking for somewhere he could get some tinsel, maybe some fairy lights, a banner saying 'sorry you're leaving' or something. But he'd been in Topshop for a very long time. People were starting to close up for the day. He swore to himself as he ran around looking for the right kind of place, but the only one he found was shut. In the end, he gave up and went back to the flat. Howard was packing his stuff up in their room, so he left his outfit in Naboo's room and went into the loft. He grabbed a torch and looked around for a bit. In the end, he found what he wanted, and dragged the box down to the living room. He tipped the Christmas decorations out on the floor and dug out the gold and silver tinsel. He also found the fairy lights and tested them to see if they all worked. Surprisingly, they did, and he put them to one side to see if he could find a banner. He found one that said 'Merry Christmas', and decided it would have to do. He could paint on the back of it. He put the rest of the decorations back in the loft and got to work. It didn't take him long to paint the slogan. He observed his work proudly, then put it on top of the kitchen cabinets to dry, hiding the tinsel in the cupboard beneath until the morning. The he picked up his phone and began to ring around his list of friends.

The next day, Naboo and Bollo stood in front of the shaman council, looking bored but dutiful. In the end, Naboo decided that he had to please Vince, and came to the shamans without much bother. Bollo was of a similar opinion, so they had left early in the morning.

"Well, are you comin' or not?" Naboo asked them.

"I am worried about the nature of this party." Dennis said. "Last time I went to such a thing, I witnessed a horrific event, and was grounded by my wife."

"S'alright, it's just Howard's leavin' do. Think of it as a celebration that you don't 'ave to deal with 'im anymore."

"What about the music? They got a DJ yet?" Tony Harrison asked.

"They've got a live band."

"What is the name of this band?" Saboo said.

"Skeletal Interpreters, or somethin' stupid." Tony Harrison nodded. Or tried to, anyway.

"Skeletal Interpreters are geniuses! They produce music no one else would ever think of tryin'!"

"And that's a good thing, is it?" Saboo sarcastically replied.

"Yes! They're different from everyone, and that means no one else has 'eard of 'em."

"You're such a hipster, Harrison."

"Will you lot shut up?" Naboo said. "Are you comin'?" Dennis sighed.

"Very well."

"Right. Thanks. Oh, can I ask you a favour?"

"What is it?"

"Can I borrow a robe?"

"What?"

"Vince reckons I 'ave to wear somethin' decent."

"Fine." Dennis sighed and shook his head, but went to find Naboo something to wear.

The shamans arrived back at the flat at nine am. They parked the magic carpet a little way away and walked to the door, so as not to alert Howard. They found Vince standing at the door, arms crossed, looking bored. He stood up straight when he saw them.

"Listen," He said, without greeting them, "Howard's working in the shop. We can go through the side door and up the stairs, but you 'ave to be _quiet_. I'm looking at you, Harrison." Tony Harrison opened his mouth to protest, but Saboo covered it with his hand. He quickly pulled it away though, saying:

"You licked me! You actually licked me, you disgusting pink phallus!"

"Serves you right. No one covers the mouth of the H-man."

"Will you shut up?" Naboo said. "Tony: No licking. Saboo: No complaining. Go." He pushed them through the door, and they made their way up the stairs. They carried on until it was just Naboo, Bollo, and Vince at the door. Vince first turned to Naboo.

"Naboo, what in the name of sanity are you wearin'?"

"Don't ask; I borrowed it from Dennis. I hate it." He stood there looking cross in the large, baggy purple robe.

"Never mind. It makes a change. Anyway, I've already decorated up there. The band's setting up somewhere up there, and Fossil's gonna be here in a minute. Now, Naboo, you go up there and make sure the shaman's don't mess anythin' up. Bollo, you're gonna look after the door. Let everyone you know in, but make sure no riff-raff come in, right?"

"Bob Fossil is not riff-raff?"

"He is, but this is his payment for the band."

"Okay. Here he come now." Bollo pointed down the road. Sure enough, Fossil was approaching… with someone else."

"Hey, Vincey!" He said. "I brought a plus-one. I hope that's alright."

"No, that's fine." He stared at the man in front of him. He was about Vince's height, and fairly stocky, with an enormous moustache. "Hey, Mr Bainbridge."

"Good day, Vince. Is this your little fiesta?"

"Yeah, it is. Well, sort of. It's for Howard really." Bainbridge winced.

"That buffoon?"

"Yeah, it's his leaving party."

"Think of it as celebrating the fact he going." Bollo said.

"Good point. Can we go in?" Vince told them to be quiet and let them in. He pulled a face at Bollo, who nodded.

"Right, I'm gonna leave you to it, now, Bollo. Just make sure they're quiet, right?" Bollo grunted, and Vince patted his on the shoulder. He went around to the front door of the shop and walked in that way, making the bell jingle. Howard looked up from rearranging his stock of pencil cases.

"Alright, Howard." Vince said cheerily.

"Alright, what are you up to?" Howard asked.

"What?"

"I know that look. You're up to something."

"No way." Vince insisted, as innocently as possible. "I just want to talk to you for a bit." He sidled around to the end of the counter, so he could see the gap in the wall where the side door led to the stairs. He would see everyone passing. Howard started to say something, but he wasn't paying much attention. He was watching the sudden stream of people quietly dashing past the shop. He tried to reply relevantly. This went on for a while, but in the end, Bollo ran past, giving him the thumbs up. Vince interrupted Howard halfway through a sentence.

"Howard, let's go upstairs."

"What? Why?"

"I just… feel like going upstairs."

"What about the shop?"

"No one's coming in anyway. Let's shut up early."

"But-"

"Come on, Howard." Vince switched the sign on the door around so it said 'closed', then dragged Howard to the stairs.

"What are you doing?"

"Just trust me."

"Trust you? Finding that difficult right now." He complained. But when they reached the top of the stairs, he stopped and stared.

"SURPRISE!" Shouted most of Camden and the shamans. Howard looked around at them, at the strange-looking band standing on the stage, at the banner on the wall that said 'SORY YOUR LEAVING'.

"Vince, what…?" He trailed off. "Did you organise this?"

"Naboo helped. But yeah."

"Thanks. This isn't going to go the same way as last time, is it?"

"No way."

"Good. Come on then." Vince shouted over to the band:

"Guys, hit it!" They launched into a loud song, and everyone began to dance. Except Tony Harrison, who just sat on the coffee table waving his tentacles and shouting. But the party spirit was spreading through the crowd, and everyone was having a good time.

Hours passed as everyone danced. It went more smoothly than they had expected. No one got bored, the band didn't complain, the guests didn't moan about the music, and Howard didn't embarrass himself with a stupid speech. But in the end, people began to leave for home. After a while, it was just Howard, Vince, Bollo, and the shamans.

"Right." Howard said. "I suppose I'd better get my stuff and go, eh? Are you lot gonna see me off?"

"Yeah." Vince nodded. "Aren't we?" He looked pointedly at the shamans. They shrugged and nodded back. Howard went to get his suitcases and they all went out to the front of the shop, where the van was parked. He put the cases in the back and stood looking up at Nabootique. He sighed.

"Well, I'm gonna miss this place, I guess. And I'll miss, y'know, nearly getting killed, and being shouted at and pestered, and… Yeah, maybe I won't miss it quite that much, actually." He turned to Vince. "I'll miss you, little man. You've been a great mate. Even though you're a pain in the bum." He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and hugged him. Vince hugged him back, but Howard pulled away quickly.

"Bye, Howard. I'll miss you as well." Howard smiled and got into the driver's seat of the van. He turned on the engine and looked out of the window at the crowd on the kerb. He saw the pitiful look on Vince's face and rolled the window down to talk to him again.

"Oi," He called, "You didn't think I was actually going to leave you, did you?" Vince looked up, eyes wide. "I've packed some of your stuff, come on." Vince grinned hugely, ran over to the van, and leapt in. The shamans waved them off as they drove off into the city.

"Just you and me, now." Bollo said to Naboo.

"They'll be back." Naboo assured him. "They always are."

**Slightly fairytale ending. Cliches. Oh joy. I still like the idea of this happening.**

**Reviews would be very valued and lovely.**


	18. Wrapped Up

**I'm Back! I've been having problems with my internet, and the fact that my mum refuses to sort it out because she reckons it's saving her money is not helping. I've not been able to get this up for a while, but it's here now. This was a very lovely chapter to write. I did wonder whether this might be the end of this fic, but then I noticed how many chapters there are and thought, well, might as well get it up to 20. So there'll be two more after this one, though I'm still writing this without a plan, so god knows what they'll contain. Actually, god probably doesn't know. Anyway, I hope you like it :)**

**Disclaimer: This chapter may be especially lovely, but that still doesn't mean I own the Boosh.**

"Cut!" Paul shouted.

A bell rang twice, and Spencer Millman yelled:

"Alright, that's a wrap!"

"Is that it?" Julian asked. Noel nodded. "Already?"

"Yeah." Noel said. "Doesn't seem five minutes since we started, does it?"

"No, it's weird. It's been weird."

"It's _always_ weird, Ju. Surprised you hadn't noticed that." Noel grinned, and they went over to the others. Paul was passing around champagne, and they took a glass each. After a couple of minutes' discussion, they all decided to take chairs outside into the late summer sunshine. They sat in several large clumps, with most people staying with whoever they worked with the most. Noel, Julian, Mike, Rich, Paul, and Spencer stayed near the doors. Dave went to change out of his Bollo costume before he came out. Noel moved his chair closer to Julian and shifted over to lean on him, narrowly avoiding spilling champagne everywhere. Julian just laughed.

"You haven't even drunk any of it yet, and you're already falling about." He said.

"I know. I must be drunk off the high spirits. No pun intended." Noel replied. He shifted and dug his elbow into Julian's ribs, causing him to wince and everyone else to laugh. "Oops. Sorry, Ju."

"So you should be." He said, rolling his eyes.

"I've got a better idea." Noel got up off of his chair and sat on Julian's lap. They both agreed it was much easier, and the conversation carried on as normal.

"It's really odd, isn't it?" Mike asked. "I mean, it was three years since we'd done this before, and now it's all over again."

"It's not quite over. We've still got editing to do, and a few behind the scenes bits for the DVDs." Paul said.

"And the audio commentaries." Rich put in.

"Oh, god, I forgot about them. They're an absolute farce, aren't they? You can't tell what you're on about half the time."

"And the other half you don't want to know." Rich said with a grin. "That's the whole point, though, right?"

"Yeah, we've gotta do 'em again, Paul!" Noel insisted.

"Alright."

"Have we got something sorted out for the advert? I assume there is gonna be an advert." Julian said.

"Yeah, we've got a couple of little things from some of the episodes, and the song from episode three."

"Nice. Any crimping?"

"Not in the advert, no."

"Shame. Our finest work is the crimping." Noel laughed.

"You're still in character, you are. You sound like the most stuck up person ever."

"I know. I've been possessed by Howard Moon, help me!" This got a laugh from everyone around, and a few funny looks from those further away who hadn't been following the conversation. They shrugged it off and carried on though. They were all in good spirits. Dave walked out a minute later and stole Noel's empty chair. He was back in normal clothes now, but he still had black paint around his eyes.

"You look like a bandit." Mike laughed. "Or maybe a raccoon."

"Stripy shirt doesn't help, does it?" Dave replied.

"Not really." Dave sighed and leaned back in the chair.

"It's been insane, hasn't it?" He said.

"It has. It's been a mad journey." Spencer replied.

"It's been a good one, though." Noel said. "I mean, we've done well."

"Yeah. We've made a good series, I reckon." Paul agreed. "Even if we've had a few mishaps."

"Like getting drunk together and falling off things." Noel remembered.

"Or blue vomit." Rich nodded. Mike grinned.

"Remember that time I dropped my turban in the toilet?"

"Or when I did an entire scene with my flies undone." Julian laughed.

"Remember when Bollo's head came loose in one scene?"

"When Rich punched the camera again."

"The dodgy fringe incident."

"You know when I got my tutu stuck on the doorknob and gave myself a wedgie?"

"When the Hitcher's polo fell off and stuck to the floor."

"That day when absolutely_ no one_ could get their lines right."

"When I facepalmed so hard I left a mark on my face."

"It was all good, though, wasn't it?" Noel asked. "We had a good laugh out of it."

"Yeah. We always do, though." Julian replied.

"Yeah."

"We should call a toast."

"We should. Come on then." He held up his champagne flute and stood up. "The Boosh is not perfect. The Boosh isn't polished or unfaultable or unimprovable. But it's ours, and it's the fans'. And if it's good enough for them, it's good enough for me. So this is to the Boosh." The others echoed his last words, and he sat down again.

"That was remarkably poetic, you know." Julian said, slightly surprised.

"I know. It needed to be said though."

"It did." They were quiet for a minute, just listening to the conversations of the others. But after a moment, Julian continued. "Would you do it again? If we had the chance."

"Without a doubt." Noel didn't hesitate. "And why wouldn't we have the chance? It's not like we won't see each other anymore."

"True. I think we'll have all the chance we need." They grinned at one another, and Julian wrapped his arms around Noel's waist. He leant backwards.

"No, don't do that!" Julian exclaimed. But it was too late. The chair toppled backwards and they landed in a dazed heap on the floor. Like everything else that went wrong in the studio, they were laughed at before they were helped. But they picked themselves up in the end.

* * *

><p>They walked home just as the sun was setting. Julian was limping a little due to where Noel had fallen on him, and Noel thought he'd sprained his wrist. But there was something in the air, some hint of perfection, that made them just not care. Noel walked on the wall again, but not to feel tall this time. Just because he could.<p>

"Julian?" He said.

"Yeah?"

"What are we gonna do now we're finished?"

"We aren't finished, Paul said that."

"But when we are done, what then?" He jumped down from the wall, and Julian wrapped an arm around him.

"We can do whatever we want to do. We could go travelling, we could go and do all the things we've been meaning to do for years… we could just stay at home and relax."

"Anything?"

"Yeah. We could even start writing series five if you like."

"That'd be good. But I think we should have _some_ time off."

"Well, what do you think we should do?"

"We can just relax, for now."

"I think you're right. We can sort the rest out later, right?"

"Yeah. We've got the rest of our lives."

* * *

><p>The days passed. Editing was scheduled to start next week, and Noel and Julian made the most of their time off by doing nothing at all. They lazed around, they watched TV, they drank copious amounts of coffee. But all the while, Noel's brain was working furiously. He knew he needed to do something, and he needed to do it soon. Not because he would miss his chance, but because it was playing on his mind. So one day, he left an under-slept Julian in bed and headed out the door.<p>

Julian woke up at about ten, by which time Noel was back. When he went down to the kitchen, he found him already sat at the table, eating toast. There was a lit candle in the middle of the table. He frowned.

"Why is there a candle at breakfast?" Julian asked.

"Just is." Noel shrugged.

"Right…" Julian went to make his own toast. He buttered it and turned back to the table. But before he could sit down, Noel was on the floor, down on one knee. Julian couldn't say anything. He just stared as Noel pulled a small box out of his pocket.

"Will you marry me, Ju?" He was silent for a minute. He didn't know what to say. In the end, his confused brain came out with:

"I don't think we're allowed, strictly speaking."

"Well, saying 'will you have a civil partnership with me' doesn't have the same ring to it, really. Will you?"

"I… Yes. Yes." So that was what the candle was for, he thought as Noel slipped the simple gold ring onto his finger. They hugged each other tightly.

"I love you more than I've ever loved anyone or anything, Ju." Noel whispered.

"And I love you the same." They kissed, forgetting the outside world as Julian's toast lay cold on the table.


	19. Planning Again

**A/N: Firstly, I know I didn't do this when I said I would. Secondly, it is very very short compared to how the last few chapters have been. I apologise for both. I was having trouble writing it, to be honest. I don't want to have to force it, so I stopped where it felt natural, and I hope it's okay despite that.**

**Disclaimer: Please refer back to THE LAST EIGHTEEN CHAPTERS!**

Over the next few weeks, they went back to the studio nearly every day for what seemed like endless edits, retakes, and extra filming. They recorded the DVD audio commentaries, laughing as they remembered all the odd little memories that came with re-watching the episodes, and showed them to Paul.

"They'll do." He said in the end. "At least you can hear what you're saying most of the time."

On the very last day of their preparations, they gathered everyone together in the main studio space. They stood in front of them all, their friends and families, hands entwined.

"I'd been meaning to do it for a long time." Noel explained. "I want to be with Ju forever. I asked him to marry me."

"And I said yes." Julian continued. There was a rush of sound from the crowd as they gasped, '_aaw'_-ed, or gave congratulations. For a few minutes, they were engulfed by well-wishers. When everyone had settled down, Noel carried on.

"We haven't set a date yet. But we don't want it to be too long. We've waited long enough." He smiled. There was a cheer from their friends, and after a while, the crowd slowly broke away. A few stayed behind. Dave, Mike, Rich, Paul. The usual suspects.

"That's fantastic news." Paul grinned. "Congratulations."

"Yeah, it's great." Dave agreed.

"I knew you'd get there in the end." Mike said. Rich beamed and hugged them both.

"We always knew you would." He nodded.

"Thanks." Julian replied. "It means a lot."

"Yeah." Noel grinned. "You'll all have to come, obviously."

"Course we will." Dave said. "I'll have to find myself a suit."

"Well, actually… We were hoping you and Mike could be best men?"

"Really?" Noel and Julian nodded. "Well, I'm up for it. Mike?"

"Yeah, definitely." He said enthusiastically. "But what about Rich and Paul?"

"Well," Julian said, "It's not exactly traditional, but there's no rule to say we can't have four."

"No, I don't think there is. Alright then. Why don't you all be best men?" They all agreed, and left the studio together, walking out into the afternoon sunlight.

Both of them were excited, but Noel was especially keen to plan. The next day, he sat on the sofa with Julian and a cup of tea, trying to work everything out in his head.

"Where are we going to have it?" He asked. "We can't have a church, they won't let us."

"Well, that depends how big it needs to be, doesn't it?" Julian answered.

"Yeah, I guess so. How big _do_ we need it?"

"Well, how many people are we inviting?"

"How many do we know?"

"Most of London, I don't doubt." Julian muttered. "We can't invite _everyone_."

"I just want everyone to know about it."

"I know you do. We can let everyone know. But we can't fit all of our friends into… well, anywhere."

"Yeah." Noel took a sip of tea. "What about clothes? What are we wearing?"

"Please stay away from the dresses." Julian said jokingly.

"I will. I think one of us should wear white, though."

"It should be you. You obviously represent the woman in this relationship."

"Yep." Noel agreed happily. "What about you, though? What colour are you wearing?"

"Not sure. Maybe we should stick with black?"

"It's a bit too… ordinary, isn't it? For us, anyway."

"True."

"What about pale blue?" Julian pulled a face.

"Will that really suit me?" Noel looked at him and considered for a minute.

"Probably not. What about a darker blue, then? That'd suit you fine."

"I'm open to ideas. You have to remember the others though."

"I know. Pale blue would've suited Rich, though, wouldn't it?" He grinned.

"Almost certainly." Julian grinned in return. "What about… grey?"

"Grey?"

"Yeah. It's not too traditional, but it won't look too outlandish."

"Good job I won't have to wear it then. Outlandish is what I do best."

"I know that. So what do you think?"

"We'll talk it over with the others first, but yeah. It sounds good."

"Are we having flowers?"

"Are we having flowers? Of course we're having flowers!" Noel said excitably. "I reckon white and blue."

"Mmm. Violets, um… cornflowers? I don't know. I'm not really a flower expert to be honest."

"No. We'll get it sorted out. We'll find someone who knows what they're talking about."

"Since we clearly don't, you mean?"

"Yeah." Noel downed the rest of his tea, put his mug on the coffee table, and leant back, nestling into Julian's side. Julian's arm found his waist and they rested on one another.

"There's just one thing, Noel." Noel's heart stopped for a second. Was he having second thoughts? Oh, god, oh, god, no, please.

"What is it?" He managed to sound nonchalant.

"No divorces. Ever." Julian said firmly. Noel breathed a sigh of relief. That was all? Well, that was no problem.

"No. We won't need one. We never stay annoyed with each other. If we ever have any trouble, Ju, we'll help each other through it. Promise."

"Good. I don't want to lose you."

"You won't." There weren't many things in the world Noel was sure of. But this was one of them. When he promised Julian that, he knew it was a promise he would keep. He'd gone two years without him, and that was enough. All this had happened so quickly, and he was determined that it would keep going. Forever was a long time, but that was fine. A long time was what they needed. To catch up on lost time. And not just to love each other as a couple, but as friends. Their friendship had gone on for a long time, and a change in marital status wasn't going to change what they were to one another. Best friends, couple. There wasn't much difference when it came to them. And in the end, it didn't matter where they'd come from. It was where they were going that counted.

**Next chapter is the last one! Nooo! This has been one of my favourite things to write, and I'll miss it. But, as the Klaxons said, it's not over yet! One chapter to go, dudes. It'll be awesome. Reviews are also awesome ;)**

**PS. Out of interest, is there anyone out there who'd read a Mighty Boosh/Red Dwarf Crossover fic? It's a weird idea I had the other day. You might have to wait for it, since I haven't watched Red Dwarf enough to get the characters right, but what do you think? It'd be a funny one, putting romance to one side for a bit. If there are any fans out there, let me know! **

**Much love x**


	20. The Big Day

**A/N: I am going to have to stop apologising for uploading late. If I upload late, you can safely say I am very sorry. I am, honestly. I feel guilty. But I really didn't want to do this chapter. Because it's the LAST ONE. This has honestly been one of my favourite things to write, and I will definitely miss it. As far as a sequel is concerned, I'll do one if I get a good idea, but if now, I'll have to leave it. I don't want to force writing, because it ends up being rubbish. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter, because I loved writing it :)**

**Disclaimer: Oh, god. Really? Go back to the last nineteen, you'll get the picture.**

Suit? Check.

Tie retied about thirty times? Check.

Butterflies? Definitely.

Noel was nervous. The day had arrived, and he was absolutely terrified. What if he mucked up the vows? What if he fell up the steps? What if said the wrong thing? It was only thanks to Mike and Rich at his side that he wasn't having a breakdown. Mike was always so calm and laid back, it rubbed off a bit. It was impossible not to feel calm with him near you. Rich was not so calm, but he was excited rather than nervous.

"Come on, Noel. This is the biggest day of your life!" He exclaimed, sitting on the sofa next to him.

"I know; that's what I'm worried about." Noel replied, fiddling with his cufflinks. Mike slapped his hand away.

"D'you really think it'll matter if you mess up? Julian isn't going to care, and neither are the rest of us." He said. "Anyway, you won't mess up. You just 'ave to repeat what the registrar says."

"Yeah, but-"

"No buts. You'll be fine." The car arrived for them not long after, and they all got in. The journey was tense, and no one spoke, except to tell the driver to avoid a certain road because it was full of potholes. As they pulled up outside the venue, Noel took a deep breath, still panicking. Mike patted him on the knee.

"Come on, it'll be fine." Noel nodded and got out of the car. Mike and Rich followed him, and they went inside. An attendant stopped them in the corridor before they reached the big hall. They had to wait until everything was ready before they walked in. The attendant saw the look on Noel's face, and went to fetch him a glass of water.

"Noel." Rich put his hands on Noel's shoulders and looked him straight in the eye, unusually serious. "You're going to be fine. It's gonna go great, okay? Stop worrying about it."

"I'm trying." The attendant came back with the glass of water, and Noel took a sip before putting it down next to a flower arrangement on a nearby table. After a few minutes, music started up inside the hall, and the attendant opened the door for them. Noel's stomach flipped again. He felt sick as he walked into the hall. But he kept walking, Mike and Rich behind him. And then Julian turned around to watch him come in, and all the fear went away. They were right. There was nothing to worry about. He stopped next to Julian and looked at him, a tentative smile on his face. Julian took his hand and his faith in what he was about to do was complete. He believed in this. He knew it was going to be alright. Mike and Rich took their places at his side, and he saw Dave and Paul on the other side, grinning across at him. As he looked around he could see everyone. Thir parents in the front row; people they worked with, people they hadn't seen for a while. Everyone was here. Yes. This was where he belonged. The music faded to a close, and the female registrar stepped forward.

"We are gathered here to celebrate the joining of these two men in holy matrimony…"

* * *

><p>They left the hall grinning, laughing, full of happiness and love. The vows had finally been said, they were married. The crowd threw confetti as they went around to the gardens to have photos taken. It was a lengthy process, requiring the arrangement of almost everyone into a neat rectangle small enough for the photographer to pick up all at once. Then he took out another camera, arranged them in a circle, and took a panorama image. Then he wanted just Noel and Julian, then Rich, Dave, Paul and Mike as well. He seemed to want individual photos of most of the guests too, for some reason. Eventually, however, he was finished, and everyone piled into cars to get to the venue for the reception. It was another large hall, but this one was big enough for a dance floor too. It was decorated with white and silver streamers and lights. Tables around the edges were covered with white cloths, favours gracing each place setting. Everyone sat down at their places, ordered their food for the meal, and began to eat. Noel, Julian, Mike, Rich, Dave, and Paul sat at the top table, along with Noel's and Julian's parents. They talked and laughed as they ate, sharing jokes and memories. When the meal was finished, the tables were cleared, and Julian stood up. Noel stared at him.<p>

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"Nowhere." Julian replied.

"What are you doing then?"

"You'll see." Julian tapped a spoon on his wine glass, trying to get everyone's attention. It didn't work. So he rapped on the table. The guests stopped talking and looked at him.

"Hello there, everyone." He began. "I know it's a tradition at weddings to have speeches, but Noel and I agreed that was fairly boring, so we won't bother. I did think I should say a few things, though, and I won't take too long. First of all, I know some of you won't have had a clue about the two of us being together. Well, it happened pretty quickly. We hadn't seen each other for two years, we met each other again, and everything went a bit haywire. It's been what you might call a whirlwind romance. It was so unexpected and weird, but I think that made it all the better. Nothing wrong with the occasional surprise. Secondly, we want you to know that we will never leave each other. We can't let go of what we've got now we have it. It's difficult to find love sometimes, and now we have it, we promised each other that we won't throw it away. So no divorce, no breaking up. We'll stay together. And I don't know about Noel, though I suspect he feels the same, but I feel like I've found where I belong. I've spent a lot of my life looking for something, and I never knew what it was. Now I know that all I needed was someone who accepted me for all I am, and showed me how he trusted me by showing what he is too. I've never been so happy as I always am working in the Boosh, and now I know why. Happiness comes from feeling like you belong. This is where I belong, and I won't ever forget that. Thank you." He sat down to the sound of applause from the guests. Noel looked at him for a moment.

"I love you." He said. "More than anything. I really do."

"I know. And I love you." Julian smiled and kissed him. They got up from the table together and made their way to the dance floor. Julian had to admit he hadn't been looking forward to this part. The first dance. He'd never been that great at dancing. But they had finally chosen a song, after changing their minds about six times. They had decided on Not With Haste by Mumford and Sons. It was a band neither of them listened to, but they had heard it one day, listened, and decided it was perfect. As they walked onto the dance floor, the first notes played, and the lyrics began:

_Your eyes they tie me down so hard  
>I'll never learn to put up a guard<br>So keep my love my candle bright  
>Learn me hard, oh learn me right<em>

_This ain't no sham  
>I am what I am<em>

Julian took Noel's waist, and they attempted to move around to the beat, but couldn't keep in time. In the end, Noel just leant on Julian and they swayed on the spot.

_Though I may speak some tongue of old  
>Or even spit out some holy word<br>I have no strength from which to speak  
>Where you sit me down and see I'm weak<em>

_We will run and scream  
>You will dance with me<br>They'll fulfil our dreams and we'll be free  
>and we'll be who we are<br>And they'll heal our scars  
>Sadness will be far away<em>

Noel was happy, just in Julian's arms. He often felt like he was doing no good in the world, like he was ineffectual. And yet Julian made him strong again, and he believed that with him by his side, he could do anything.

_So as we walked through fields of green  
>Was the fairest sun I'd ever seen<br>And I was broke I was on my knees  
>But you said yes as I said please<em>

_This ain't a sham  
>I am what I am<br>I'll leave no time  
>For a cynic's mind<em>

Julian was revelling in the way Noel could, just by being there, make a situation perfect. He could make you happy with his mere presence. He didn't need to say anything. You just _knew._

_We will run and scream  
>You will dance with me<br>We'll fulfil our dreams and we'll be free  
>We will be who we are<br>And they'll heal our scars  
>Sadness will be far away<em>

_Do not let my fickle flesh go to waste  
>As it helps my heart and soul in its place<br>And I will love with urgency  
>But not with haste.<em>

The dance finished, and they withdrew as the guests flooded onto the dance floor to dance to the next song. They didn't let go of one another, though. Not for a while.

* * *

><p>They sat in a haze, getting up to dance sometimes, as the room got more and more full of drunken amicability. The air got hotter, and Julian was uncomfortable.<p>

"Shall we go outside for a bit?" He asked. Noel nodded.

"Yeah, why not?" They headed out of the door, slipping past unnoticed. It was freezing outside. Noel had taken off his jacket and tie, and shivered in his shirtsleeves. The sky was clear and full of stars, glinting bluish white against the velvet of the night sky. The moon was a thin sliver of silver above their heads. They looked up at it all, huddled together against the cold.

"It makes you feel so small, doesn't it?" Julian whispered.

"Yeah." Noel wasn't concentrating on the sky. He was looking at the starlight reflecting in Julian's eyes, trying to make sure he remembered this forever. He did feel small, but not because of the sky and its stars. Because of the love that he felt, so huge he didn't know how it fitted into the world, let alone his body. But they fitted together. And this…

This was their dream. It was what they needed, what they wanted. This was the point their relationship had got to, but it wasn't the end. No, their story had only just begun.

**It's over. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'll have to start writing something else. I love everybody who's reviewed this, and you've all helped and inspired me along the way. Thank you. Much, much love xxxxx**


End file.
